As a free-spirited 26-year-old, I support a wide range of lifestyles. But I'm just not into sharing the same dating pool with my mom—a fit, fun-loving, blonde bombshell of a 50-year-old. After all, the term "cougar" is only funny if your mother isn't one. The Frisky: Diva Hotel's Cougar Package Deal Grosses Us Out
A glamour girl in suburban Baltimore, my mom was bound for the ranks of "heartbreakers of a certain age" long before her marriage to my father—a great dad but an admittedly crappy husband—crumbled a few years ago. The object of many younger boys' affections, she had the lifeguards at our pool drooling and my lacrosse player friends deeming her a "M.I.L.F." By the time I got to college, I wasn't fazed by the frat boys who swarmed around her during parents' weekend. They would take turns spinning me and Mom around on the beer-soaked dance floor, until I told her it was time to go home.
"Oh come on," she'd say. "Let your mom have some fun."
If only the "fun" had stopped there. Soon after my parents' split, she adopted Demi Moore as her patron saint of post-divorce dating. "Good for them," she'd say, pointing to magazine spreads of middle-aged actresses strutting around with their gorgeous, younger beaus. The Frisky: Gallery: Women Who Make Us Less Scared Of Growing Old
"Don't even think about it," I'd tell her.
"What?" she'd ask innocently, suppressing a grin. But she had already caught the bug.
Her first victim was the cute 35-year-old golf pro from her country club. The Frisky: A Cougar's Ode To Taylor Lautner
"He's fair game!" she insisted giddily, referring to my rule to not date anyone closer to my age than hers. I was more unsettled than reassured: I was a single, recent college grad at the time, and was well-versed in the ways that even the nicest-seeming guys could turn out to be royal jerks. I was afraid this young "stud" would tear my mom's heart out. But my concerns weren't all so benevolent. Wouldn't Mom's new fling be incredibly awkward for me? I got my answer the night my three younger sisters and I stopped by the party where Mom and her plus-one were canoodling in the corner.
"These are … your … daughters?" the poor guy asked, while Mom forced a mortified smile.
I understood her desire to shoo us away—I gathered that no single woman wanted to stand next to the living, breathing image of herself 24 years younger. Still, as she began dating the golf pro, I found it difficult to support a relationship for which my existence could be a deal-breaker. The Frisky: MERRIMe, A New Web Comedy About Online Dating