Recently, the girlfriend of men's nightmares took a golf club to her boyfriend's Xbox 360, simply because he wasn't showing her enough attention. A small (OK, a large) part of us gave a mental fist pump. After all, we know what it's like to be overshadowed by our man's favorite toys. The other part of us wanted to tell this guy to get a restraining order. Still, it's fun to daydream about what we'd demolish, if only we weren't afraid of incurring psycho status. And so, here are the top 10 items of his we wish we could toss out the window:
1) His New Laptop
Because when he buys a laptop (or any other shiny, new gadget), it is inevitable that he will spend the rest of the weekend installing the latest, geek-chic operating system, playing around with Skype, and fiddling with the display theme instead of spending time with you.
2) His Gaming System Du Jour
Because we sympathize with Xbox Girl. We really do. Especially because we experienced a similarly frustrating scenario when our man became addicted to World of Warcraft. We were so tempted to sneak into his system and delete his account. (But we didn't!) Come on, man. At least indulge us with some two-player games! Study: Men More Likely To Be Video Game Addicts
3) His iPod
Because he often fiddles with it in the car instead of watching the road, and we fear for our lives. For the love of god.
4) His Red Bull
Because it makes his breath smell like cough medicine. No kisses for him! Slim Jims could go, too, come to think of it.
5) His "Adult Entertainment" Collection
Because... well... we have nothing against pornography. Heck, we even have our own naughty drawer. But the sheer volume of your Penthouse stash makes us nervous, and we totally wish that you'd invest in something naughty that we could enjoy together. Porn: When It Helps & When It Hurts
6) His Bedspread That Looks Like a Throwback to the '70s
And the gargoyle he made in elementary school. And everything else that effs up the feng shui we so carefully created in our shared abode.