For those ladies out there still buying the "it was just an accident" excuse from heavy-handed boyfriends or husbands, this new study serves as a another wake-up call.
According to a Science Daily report, researchers at the University of Haifa in Israel concluded that domestic violence between couples typically occurs as a calculated decision from the inflicting partner. He or she generally knows beforehand what sort of consequences there will be and weighs it before acting out.
"The violent partner might conceive his or her behavior as a 'loss of control', but the same individual, unsurprisingly, would not lose control in this way with a boss or friends," says Dr. Eila Perkis, the lead researcher in the study.
Perkis focused her study on cases where the offending partner is, by all other measures, a perfectly normal, law-abiding person and the couple continues living together after such incidents. The results did not include cases of murder. Are Apologies Enough After Domestic Abuse?
She divided the cases into four levels of severity: verbal aggression; threats of physical aggression; moderate physical aggression; and severe physical aggression. Perkis found that acting on each type of violence is typically calculated, since the aggressor knows what actions will cross the line.
"Neither of the couple sits down and plans when he or she will swear or lash out at the other, but there is a sort of silent agreement standing between the two on what limits of violent behavior are 'ok', where the red line is drawn, and where behavior beyond that could be dangerous," she explains. Signs Of Domestic Abuse
For example, in physical violence—often carried out by men—the violent side understands that for a slap, he may not face a heavy consequence, but for harsher violence outside the 'normative' behaviors between them, he may suffer larger consequences and will keep himself from such behavior. Shocking Percentage Of Women Think Abuse Is OK
"It can be said that violent behavior is not the result of loss of control and both sides are aware of where the red line is drawn, even if such an agreement has never been spoken between them," Perkis says. Her research also confirms the long-held notion that when unchecked, the agressor will most likely get progressively worse—continually pushing the limits of that line further and further back. Why do i still love a man that beats me...
"Someone who uses verbal violence might well move on over time to threatening physical attack, and from there it is only downhill towards acting on the threat," Perkis says.
In other frank words, get out of the cycle now! A Domestic Violence Survivor's Advice For Rihanna