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Why Do Women Love To Pick Their Husband's Zits?

Picking: a couples grooming ritual some consider horrendous but others love.

My husband is leaning over the bathroom sink, and instantly I'm lured from my comfort zone on the couch. I'm seduced by how the fluorescent light outlines the curve of his bicep, the muscles of his back. He looks up and returns my devilish smirk in the mirror's reflection. I make my move.

A bright red zit in the small of his back has come to a head—and I must have at it this instant.

"I don't get why this amuses you," he sighs, exasperated at my zeal.

"Because your body is no longer yours," I calmly explain. "It's mine."

Gross? Uh, yeah. But I can't help myself.

Before we started dating, I was a picking virgin, but I'd always longed to find a man who would satisfy all my needs, including this one. And it wasn't until we were well into our relationship that I gleaned the courage to approach him with my grubby little mitts. Now, more than ten years into it, there's no stopping me.

My friend, Julie Keating from Wellesley, MA, thinks my compulsion is absolutely revolting.

"I don't get it," she said. "I always want to see my husband in the most attractive light. It's nasty to pick his skin. I need some boundaries!"

Like Julie, I'd assume that most gals prefer to keep their hands to themselves, but in researching this article, I've found a sorority of "pickers" who are as enthusiastic about the practice as I am. Why Men Need You To Groom Them

Alexia M., a 24-year-old grad student, says there's "some sort of satisfaction in seeing something to pick" on her live-in boyfriend (of about a year). "If I see something, I almost can't control my hands. I have to do it. I sometimes try in public, but he won't let me."

Kim G., a 26-year-old account executive, can't even wait until she gets indoors to come at her man. She says her boyfriend of three years allows her to sate her "overwhelming" compulsion right out on the street. "We went out Saturday night and I saw a zit on boyfriend's neck on the subway platform. I had to have at it right there!" she explains. And he let her.

She also assists him with a myriad of other self-maintenance exercises, such as hairstyling, eyebrow plucking and the increasingly popular Biore-stripping. "I won't get the box for him, but I'll get it for me and offer him a strip," she explains. "I feel like I'm helping him take care of business. I think you should shower and brush your hair every day. When we first started dating, he wouldn't brush his hair for days and I was like, 'How could you not brush your hair?' I like to be clean and groom myself, so I want him to do the same." A Man, His Haircut And Your Opinion

What's behind this epidemic compulsion to pick at and groom our men? Are we but primates in skirts and heels? Sure, picking is messy business. Is there blood? Sometimes. Pus? Oh yeah. Those are the best ones. But the common consensus among us pickers is that as nasty and repulsive as these personal excavation missions may seem to some, we aren't afraid to get in there and get our hands dirty. Maybe there's a parallel there about how we approach our relationships?

67% Can RelateCan you relate?

Discussion

Qverb Taken Rugburns, sarcasm, giggling, beautiful
Posted October 20, 2009

LOL!!! Maybe its my upbringing (mom was a groomer), maybe it was my time as a dancer (dancers tend to be really comfortable around each other physically) but I am used to being with a groomer and grooming myself. It is an established intimacy kind of thing for myself and the several women I've been with who partook in the act. Virtually every gal will want to pluck their man's eyebrows for him, but it takes a special one to seek out and destroy vile blackheads where I can't see them on my back!

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onyinye Starting Over i am pleasantly surprised
Posted October 19, 2009

U mean i`m not the only person that does that. Good now i don`t feel so weird anymore

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erinmystic Starting Over In love!
Can Relate - Posted October 17, 2009

I hate the word picker! We are "groomers" NOT PICKERS! Makes us sound like we pick noes or something. I'm really lucky, cause my new guy has a bad complexion on his back. He actually used to be VERY self conscious about it, until I told him I was a "groomer." Now he is actually comfortable with me looking at his back and even asks me to groom him sometimes.

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Mika Taken
Posted October 16, 2009

I think this article is hilarious. I pick zits, ingrowns, and my sons' ears and noses. It drives them all crazy.

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omnimancer Engaged Heaven
Can Relate - Posted October 16, 2009

i LOVE to pick my fiance's skin. And anyone else who lets me. I'm a pick-aholic. His tend to be rather...stubborn and it causes him pain which i hate....

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Tom Single
Can't Relate - Posted October 15, 2009

I feel like anything I say is going to be very judge-y, so I'll just say good luck and godspeed.

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Gauntlet Single Christian Single Patient
Posted October 15, 2009

Ok excuse me if I missed something (I usually read the whole blog/post before responding) but I could not even read this whole blog before having to stop. eeeek!

To be blunt, I have zero desire to pick anything off anyone else period. Some things a person should take care of themselves and I'll chaulk this up to personal opinion but eeeeeek! Why anyone would want to do that is beyond me. Personally I find it repulsive.

I would not do that to someone else nor would I want them to get near me and pick someone off of me. It's only thing if you don't happen to see something and they point it out to you but then I'll do it myself.

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BookMama Married Happily Married
Posted October 15, 2009

Eeuw! I can't even read the whole article. But I suspect many people have odd habits within a couple.

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Lyz Married Community Manager
Posted October 15, 2009

Ugh. This is gross. It was hard to read. Picking zits is not a good thing in general, why would you want to do it for someone you love. Plus if my SO tried to do it, I would be upset, it would be like him metaphorically and literally constantly picking at my flaws.

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Airen Married polyamorous, committed, intimate, free
Can Relate - Posted October 15, 2009

I agree Lyz. It would seem as though my SO is not seeing the whole picture of me but is literally "picking" me apart. Picking at blemishes actually damages the skin and can drive the infection deeper into the lower levels of the dermis, it is better to wash with a good soap and use a topical application of peroxide or similar product.

With my guys we don't do more than what can be removed with a gentle scratching motion, it both feels good and removes dried "whiteheads". Infected spots we treat as though they are an infection.

I will admit that grooming each other is a major part of both my relationships, it was always there with my first and deepened my second so quick when he and I got brave enough to try. We try to limit the grooming to hair brushing, bathing (taking showers together) and mani/pedi type activities.

Still if either guy asked me to relieve a particularly painful infected spot I can do it...just well, it's icky!

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sarah Complicated Expanding amounts of love.
Can't Relate - Posted October 15, 2009

I know people who like to do this. I'm not into it myself, but I can see the appeal... sort of. I know a couple where the woman manicures the man's feet and he has huge, gross calluses, and she sloughs them off...

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Airen Married polyamorous, committed, intimate, free
Can Relate - Posted October 15, 2009

See? Thats the type of grooming I love doing. Cleaning up calluses, applying lotion to hard to reach areas and massaging tired muscles. Maybe a nice back wash that's the best!

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sarah Complicated Expanding amounts of love.
Posted October 15, 2009

I agree--grooming is great, picking is gross. But there are pickers out there! I even remember seeing a photo of Rihanna popping a zit on Chris Brown's chin... Oh, found it! http://poponthepop.com/2008/08/05/rihanna-pops-chris-browns-pimples/

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