He "Has A Lot Going On." What Does That Mean?
Is he still interested in you if he uses this phrase? Dr. Diana Kirschner gives her advice.
What does he really mean when he says, "I have a lot going on"?
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Featuring Love and Dating Expert Dr. Diana Kirschner http://www.lovein90days.com
Discussion
I hear you. I dont know what to say because i am going through that too. I cry at night but i am giving his space and hanging out with friends. I will wait a little bit but not long. He texts me everyday and calls. it makes it harder but we were friends first. I am letting him make the moves.
I was just broken up with because "I have a lot going on". We were together for over a year and he's one of those guys who tries to do a million things at once but only has so much time to do it all... uinfortunately I was the one who was passed up versue maybe cutting back on sports, etc.
I'm bummed, he meant a lot to me. The summer was hard between us because of his work schedule and then school started for him again and we barely saw each other. It's not fair to me when you've been with someone for so long and only being able to see then once a week, because the other times he's in school, working or wanting to hang out with his friends (who I really think he dumped me for).
He knows he's going to be one of those guys who will never fully have time for anyone but himself and I completely agree. All I wanted was one night a week to do something together, just us, and he couldn't even commit to that but can commit to everything else. So he's taking his time to think things through and decide what he wants to do... and that's fine. I'm not waiting around. I did that with the last ex that meant the world to me and that got me nothing. Some guys just don't make their girlfriends a priority and I need to be with someone who does... at least a little bit more than him.
I agree with "African Legend" *(sMH) if your given details of the "stuff' and he still attempts to keep in touch, then chances are good he's being honest. If you get no indication of what's going on with him and he continues to be vauge....back off. Men (women too when their in love) know what they want and most times they will do whatever it takes to get it. So if their interested then you'll know, no matter what's going on in their lives
I would have to agree with most of the above...90% of the time when a man says he has a lot going on that's a nice way of saying, "My interests are elsewhere." Now, being the hopeless romantic that I am, there's always that 10% who truly "have a lot going on."
It is actually even simpler than it seems. If he goes on to explain exactly what has been going on in detail then he was probably dealing with something legitimately overwhelming. If it just a vague statement like "I had a lot going on" then he is not interesting in you. Ladies you should know this it is actually your little trick haha.
ok this has happen to my best friend. She went out with this guy she met online, he took things a little fast and introduced her to his entire family.. while this was all going on he was laid up from work due to the fact his arm needed surgery on. She went up and sent the entire weekend with him and everything seemed to be going well then the very next day he found out he lost his job due to the fact that he had already taken 24 weeks off since the beginning of the year cause of his arm. So his job fired him and now he is looking for work, needs surgery on his arm and not only that his car is having problems and needed worked on for 600. He has two girls and a mother to support. So he texts my best friend and tells her that he is going through a lot of s**t right now and needs space and time to figure out what he wants to do, and if he is ready for a relationship right now.
She is now confused for she has heard this line before but is not sure if its for real or not cause he does have a lot of s**t going on right now. He keeps texting her telling her that he does like her and is into her but its not a good time.
So what does she do? Does he wait on him or should she move on?
He is not interested in seeing you, and he just doesn't have the nerve to come out and say it. Possibly, he wants to keep the friendship, or maybe he is trying to spare your feelings. When a person doesn't want to be with you right then, it does not always spell the end of the relationship. That all depends upon the situation and the two parties involved. It does mean that you need to give that person some space, and you need to stop and re-evaluate your own situation at once. The best thing you can do is plan to move on, and try to be happy without the other person in your life. Get out and try to meet someone new, and get your mind off of the guy.
It has been ages since I had that excuse but generally it does mean ''I am no longer interested in YOU'' and they don't want to be upfront with you is all. Heck one of my ex-boyfriends used an email to break things off then called me to his house and we hung out then had the nerve to tell me I reminded him of his ex-wife...LOSER!!!! As time has gone I met men who weren't as cowardly as my ex,Rob, was.
