101 Ways To Improve Your Relationship Right Now
How to reconnect, strengthen your relationship, improve communication, intimacy, and more.
All relationships need a little pick-me-up sometimes—even the best ones. To that end, YourTango has compiled a list of 101 ways to reconnect with your significant other, right now. These actions will make your partner feel loved, appreciated and desired, and will, in turn, make you feel more connected to him/her. Whether you'd like to increase intimacy, find a thoughtful way to say "I love you," or just show your honey some gratitude, we're sure you'll find something useful in the list below.
And since the world (and our site!) is full of loving, creative souls, we hope you'll share with us, in the comments section below, the special ways you share love and strengthen your bond with your significant other. We hope you'll bookmark this page and refer back to it whenever you need relationship inspiration. Read the whole list, or skip to your favorite category from the list below.
Create Intimacy
Speak
Be Vulnerable
Eat
Get Sexy
Family and Friends
Daily Life
Use Technology
Surprises
Touch
Switch It Up
Play
Create Intimacy
1. Lie down on the bed and spend two minutes looking into each other's eyes without saying anything. (Blinking is OK.)
2. Next time you're in bed pull the covers over your head and have a whispered conversation. If you whisper first he'll probably whisper back—it's incredibly intimate.
3. Listen to each other. Think you already do that? Try active listening. Ask your partner to talk about something, and after each sentence (or paragraph) repeat what you heard. Start with, "I heard..." You don't have to repeat back the words verbatim, just say what you think she said. If you misinterpret or leave out anything, your partner will correct you. Take turns doing this. It's great for intense discussions, arguments, or just a weekly ritual to improve communication. How To Communicate Effectively
4. Pray together. If you're comfortable talking about it, discuss what you pray about.
5. Do the wonder intimacy exercise. (From The Marriage First Aid Kit.) Free associate and list sentences starting with "I wonder" on a piece of paper. (I wonder if I'll ever learn to cook. I wonder if I'll ever cook for you. I wonder if I could love you more than I do.) Take turns reading your wonders to your partner, without judging, commenting or analyzing. This may feel silly at first, but just try it and see what happens.
6. Do the nostalgic memory exercise. (From The Marriage First Aid Kit.) Pick a shared memory from "the honeymoon period" of your relationship. Discuss the memory and take turns talking about a) sensory memories (sights, sounds, smells) b) what you were thinking and c) what you were feeling.
7. Set time aside every day for mutual silence.
8. Pet Names. Sure, you can call each other baby, boo, or schmoopy, but coming up with a nickname only you two get is cute and provides a little laugh. Studies have shown that nicknames are a sign of a strong relationship. Others might not think "Bomboushay Yaya" is endearing, but if it means something to you then that's all that matters.
Discussion
I'm such a dork! Reading lists like these make me so emotional, all warm & fuzzy inside. There's something about loving your partner so fully, something about making your relationship a priority, something about connecting on such an intimate level and bonding with another that just gets me every time! I love this list and plan to keep it handy for future use :)
we tried the stranger in the bar thing, it was actually a club. It was hot sexy and I loved it and won't ever forget it. He told me to dance with another guy while he was dancing by himself and watching me all night then I was tired of dancing and went to the bar and I sat there. The bartender then signal me that the man over there order a drink for me, he gave me the drink and I turned around and notice that it was him, he signaled to me and gave me a wink. I sat for awhile sipping the rum cream then went over to him and whispered in his hear and we dance erotically for the rest of the night. It was awesome.
#38 is about the only one I don't think I have seen before..who ever thought of this one gets my thumbs up...what bonding...aww..how special it could be...haha..it cracks me up and makes me curious all in one thought.....
What a lovely list ! I find that we've been doing many of these things regularly and can vouch for them working especially in the creating intimacy section. Having the opportunity to grow and nurture two seperate and yet intertwined relationships makes a list like this a real ly helpful tool! Thanks!
I think these suggestions are great! I want to try some of them:) but we have tried some already to be honest:) We do the pet names, but I would liek to try the ''strangers in the bar'' thing that seems like fun!!!
Improving a relationship often requires considerable work, so before putting that work in I'd want to know that I was with someone with whom I was truly compatible. I've read lots of books on finding your soul mate, but the best one I've come across is Hayden Dane's, "I Have One Question," because it's premise is straightforward and sensible. Dane claims true compatibility lies in admiration. I'd never heard anyone make that assertion before. As I read his book, I became convinced that he's right. Now, when I meet someone in whom I'm interested, I have the conversation Dane suggests and if all signs are positive, then I know it's a relationship that would be worth working at. His book is at www.haydendane.com. Well worth the read. If you're going to work on a relationship, whether a new one or an existing one, wouldn't it be good to know that you're working with someone with whom you are truly compatible?
Sounds like a good book to read...I agree with the premise whole heartedly, Love is so ephemeral and can be damaged so easily but admiration seems, to me, to be more lasting. I truly admire both of my men for the strong and loving men that they are which allows me to make allowances for their humanity. It just makes me admire their triumphs so much more.
Okay....I LOVE SUGGESTION 85!!! Maybe it should just be changed to "So long as you don't have kids, declare your house as a nudist colony for one week, all clothes must come off as soon as you enter the door!"
My mom told me once that whenever my dad was out on deployment and had a chance to call her he would start singing to her as soon as she picked up the phone...he can't sing to save his life, but that made her enjoy it that much more!
Verb, what a cool story about your dad. I think dancing and singing, anything artistic, really, are so precious because you do have such a chance to look a little silly when you try your best and aren't trained at it. Very cool.
The nudist colony seems like it might work better over a weekend...
I hear you on that Lyz. He hates the word 'babe', as do I, but we have come up with unusual names for each other that just came out of the blue. I call him "porkchop", "pickle" or "poopie dookie"... he calls me "mooseknuckle", "pokiebutt", or "lovenub". Not too sure ow I feel about "mooseknuckle" but it is funny and completely an inside joke.
This list is great and all, and I must admit, I have done a lot of these. But what if your partner is just not ready to be as intimate? I have run into the problem of doing some of these things only to have him tease me about it. Is there a list for that??
I have found that when I get resistance to intimacy that if I just laugh it off and return to it a few days or weeks later he's more receptive. Sometimes the joking can mask a real deep seated fear of intimacy...it's sad but not fatal actually. Sometimes a gentle talk about trust issues I have will open doors but it has to be very open and loving or it backfires quickly.
Basically just keep trying...try looking him in the eyes while you have dinner, or randomly touching his arm softly while looking at him intently. If he bristles and asks you what you wanted just say something like "I felt the need to touch you...it releases oxytocin to sroke a lovers body and I felt like getting my fix. You give good oxytocin!" Sometihing silly yet romantic like that can open doors, at least it did with my husband who has some SERIOUS trust issues.
