As I mentioned in my post about six missteps that won't kill your chances for a second date, it's natural to be a nervous before meeting a guy you're really excited about. However, I'm a little worried about my fellow dating adventurer lindsgirl, who revealed the following: "I am ALWAYS nervous before a first date and have, at times, gotten physically nauseous from all of the nerves and adrenaline. I have yet, luckily, to actually throw up on a guy!" Linds, I feel your pain, but it doesn't have to be that bad. Check out my five proven tips for transforming stomach-churning fear into tummy-tickling butterflies of excitement and joy (now are you sick?):
1) Come up with a list of reasons why he will absolutely love you.
While I have a healthy ego about many things, my confidence goes down the tubes when pursuing a woman I really like. I can't help myself from focusing on all of the reasons why she probably won't dig me. All too often, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So when the self-doubt becomes overwhelming, I channel Stuart Smalley and remind myself that "I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!" I may not be the right guy for her, but I'm the right guy for someone.
2) Put your worries in writing.
I'm a huge believer in the value of journaling. Transferring my thoughts to paper forces me to recognize the sheer silliness of my many fears and petty judgments. Here's a sample entry, transcribed verbatim except for a name change:
"Nervous about my date with Jane. Afraid I'm gonna mess it up.Just need to relax and be myself. Either she'll bite or she won't. OK, feel a little better. Remember to buy more yogurt."
John Cheever, eat your heart out!
3) Call a friend for a pep talk.
According to Married Jake, "not even the most in-touch-with-their-feminine-side guys I know would ever call their pals so they could be talked down from full pre-date freak-out." I guess that means I have a death grip on my feminine side, because I always turn to my buddy Dan when the first-date jitters strike. He can't understand why I'm still single and always counters my self-doubt with variations of "Dude, if she's not into you it's her loss." I don't believe him, but it's always nice to hear.
4) Come up with some cheesy icebreakers.
You already know I'm a huge believer in the icebreakers, but I just want to reiterate their importance. Yes, you'll feel a little silly asking about his favorite dog names, but he'll appreciate your willingness to help spur the conversation along. 5 First-Date Icebreakers That Really Work