I Tried The Altoids Blow Job To See If It Really Worked

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Sex

Curiously strong or curiously wrong?

There are so many different crazy sex myths to try out for fun. I decided to start with the Altoids breath mint/oral sex myth.

The myth goes that chewing on a few Altoid breath mints makes blow jobs even more exciting and pleasureable.

I used Peppermint Altoids for the blow job. Peppermint Altoids have peppermint oil in it. I think it is the peppermint oil that enhances oral sex.

Snopes, the Urban Legends web site, was all over this myth. But the disappointing part of the Snopes page was that it did not go into any detail about the blow job experience, except to say that there was "slight tingling or a momentary sensation of cold; that's it."

So I was determined to try that myth out myself on my partner and report on the phenomenon in great detail.

My partner was happy to participate in the not-very-scientific experiment. We ran to our bed. He lay on his back. His body language said "Ravish me."

I popped a fistful of Altoids into my mouth.

I wasn't sure how many to eat. I ate enough so that I could give him a "curiously strong" blow job.

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I took his balls in my hand and ran them over my fingers, one and then the other. He squirmed and moaned with pleasure. I then took his cock into my Altoids-fresh mouth.

The effect started off slowly. He felt a little bit of tingling at first. It was pleasant, if a bit unusual. Then, the sensation became more intense, especially as I sucked harder on his dick. He is not circumcised, so I sucked on his foreskin until I pulled it away from his dick. He liked that. It felt very good.

Then he started to squirm. All of a sudden, his dick began to burn.

He cried out, "It burns, Oh my God, it really burns!"

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I wasn't sure whether to stop or to keep going. But he wanted me to keep going. I sucked, harder and harder.

"My God, it burns. A lot. How many Altoids did you eat?"

"Uh... Fifteen."

"Fifteen???"

"I didn't know how many to eat. I wanted to make sure it worked. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten so many of them…"

"You think so? Maybe three would have done it just fine. Ouch! It burns!! My dick is on fire!!!"

I released his dick from my mouth. He rolled out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I heard the water in the sink running. He kept crying out, "It burns! It burns!" I felt bad, but, at the same time, the whole thing was rather funny. I told him to use soap on it. Maybe soap would get the peppermint oil off of his dick. He just ran warm water over it.

He came back to bed. The burning sensation had subsided. I sucked on him a bit longer to make him feel better. The tingling sensation was still in my mouth, but the peppermint oil had been absorbed into my mouth as well. His dick felt cool when I blew on it, but, thankfully, he didn't feel as if his dick was on fire anymore.

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So, there is quite a bit of truth to the Altoids oral sex myth. I highly recommend trying the “Altoid Blow Job,” so that you too can become a Blow Job Goddess.

However, don't eat fifteen Altoids mints.

You'll torture your lover. Three or four are just fine.

Originally appeared on trishwilson.typepad.com.

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