Meredith Goldstein, the relationship columnist over at the Boston Globe, recently received a letter from a guy (whom we shall refer to as "Guy") caught up in a lie-induced love pickle. The lie (that Guy was a rock star who'd just signed a major record deal and was about to go on tour) was not, in fact, one that he made up. Rather, the acquaintance who introduced him to the girl/lie victim chose to stretch the truth (Guy is, in actuality, an independent singer/songwriter who would like to be a famous rock star).
Here's where the pickle comes in. Guy finds the girl attractive. Guy seduces the girl the first night he meets her and has a grand old time. Guy likes the girl so much that he continues to see her. But after many dates, Guy still doesn't explain to the girl that he is actually just a wannabe musician living in the suburbs rather than an up-and-coming rock star. Revealed: Why Women Can't Resist Rock Stars
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Meredith suggests that Guy try telling the girl the truth, but try doing it in a charming way ("Write a song. Play it for her. Then beg."). If all goes according to plan, afterward, "She should run. Fast." After all, as Meredith sees it, what he's done is "manipulative and creepy."
True, Meredith, very true. Guy is creepy. What he's done is manipulative. And we certainly wouldn't want the same thing done to us. But, while we can't condone his behavior, we also can't help but wonder: Are there any lies that actually are OK to tell on a first date? We've thought about it and decided that, yes, there are. Below, we've listed our top five acceptable first date lies.
1. You were the first person I noticed in the room at Katie's party. This probably isn't true—but that's OK. Why? Because it feels good to be flattered. Because it feels good to flatter others. And because we know it wouldn't be nearly as romantic to say: "I noticed your friend Tom first and he was really hot, but then you started talking to me and I realized you were cute, too."
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2. My family is all right, my job is OK, and life's pretty good. Maybe, in fact, your mom gets on your nerves, your co-workers are unsophisticated, and you wake up at least once a week in a grumpy mood. But a first date is not the time to bring this up. Nobody likes a complainer. And if you're willing to complain a lot to someone you barely know on a first date, imagine what message you're sending off about what awaits on the second. Read: White Lies In Relationships
3. I truly believe that the end of the world will be marked by violent battles between robots and zombies, and let's face it, the robots will win. It's OK to tell ridiculous stories. In fact, we encourage it. Just be sure to bring your date along for the ride ("I can tell by the look in your eyes that you're on the side of the zombies"). Read: First Date Conversation Topics