As we know, affairs are truly a symptom of an unhealthy and unfulfilled marriage. One way to help inoculate your marriage against affairs is to keep your sex life and physical intimacy a priority. For some couples, sex is not even on the list after having kids.
Dr. Michelle Golland: I was not surprised by the 2006 Newsweek article that reported that 15-20% of us are in "sexless" marriages. The article defined this as couples having sex less than once a month, or on average, 10 times a year. Watch: Am I Wrong To Like Sex With Married Men?
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In my therapy practice, sex or lack thereof is often a big complaint. What I usually quickly discover is it really is not about "sex," but about the overall lack of physical connection a couple is experiencing. Sex with our partner quickly goes to the back burner when we feel overworked, overcommitted, and simply overwhelmed by familial life. Read: True Tales of Sex After Kids
Tips to avoid the downfall of desire and help inoculate your marriage against affairs:
1. Put your kids to sleep early. Too many couples keep their kids up too late for a variety of reasons, but if you can do the initial work of getting a solid bedtime between 7-8 o'clock, this will allow some quality time between you and your spouse. Feeling recharged is key to avoid the depleting experience of raising kids.
2. Use babysitters. Time alone as a couple is not a luxury as much as it is a necessity. If you can't afford a babysitter, then do an exchange with a friend or join a co-op sitters' club in your neighborhood. Dates don't need to be during the evening. Drop your kid off at a friend's house for 3 hours and go home and get back in bed together. An afternoon delight can be the best way to enjoy each other.
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