Why We Fantasize And What's Normal

If you want to enliven your next dinner party, bring out this question: what was the subject of your last sexual fantasy?

Forks and jaws might drop, but only because almost everyone in attendance will be recreating the scene last played in their head, or claiming that they don't fantasize, or claiming to only fantasize about their partner. However, chances are everyone at the table (assuming you're not dining at a senior center) has erotic and illicit fantasies, and does so on a normal basis. But rarely, if ever, do we want to talk about it. Infusing Fantasy Into Your Sex Life

Titillating Taboo
Sexual fantasies are something we rarely discuss, even among good friends. Our deepest sexual thoughts are often considered too weird, perverse, or just plain wrong to be shared amongst polite company; fantasizing might indicate there is something wrong with our relationships, or worse, ourselves. But research indicates that having sexual fantasies is an absolutely normal, if not necessary, part of being a sexual being. It's not having them that is aberrant.

Large research studies indicate that almost everyone fantasizes and almost none of us talk about it. While researching his book, Who's Been Sleeping in Your Head: The Secret World of Sexual Fantasies, Brett Kahr, a psychologist based in the UK, anonymously surveyed 18,000 people in Britain and America. He asked them questions about the frequency and content of their fantasies and found that nine out of ten people have sexual fantasies. What's more, he believes the remaining tenth person has them too, but is too embarrassed to admit it.