Infusing Fantasy Into Your Sex Life
Act out fantasies together because imagination enhances our sex lives.
After dismounting your partner's white stallion, Thundersnow, the two of you enjoy a candlelit meal of champagne and strawberries in the manicured organic garden next to the orphanage and motorcycle-repair shop he runs.
Your crystal flute empty, he immediately gives you a massage, until he's overcome by your beauty. His bulging triceps—though he's a wealthy philanthropist, he keeps in shape by working as a mailman, pool boy, and plumber—ripple as he tenderly, lovingly, emotionally rips off the size-two bodice you bought on sale.
And then, just when things are getting really good… your Tequiza-addled boyfriend accidentally falls off the futon.
That kind of scenario may not play a regular part in your sex life—but chances are some sort of fantasizing does. Even if you and your partner don't typically dress up like household laborers or teenage wizards, you no doubt both use your sexual imaginations on a regular basis.
From picturing the hottie in Accounts Payable naked, to role-playing, to thinking about other people or circumstances while masturbating or having sex, people often use fantasies to augment their lovemaking.
In fact, there are women who can achieve orgasm merely by conjuring that philanthropist/mailman/pool boy/plumber in their heads. (Seriously. And they're being studied.) Even if you're not blessed with that ability, research has shown that women's orgasms are in some ways more tied to mental gymnastics than to anything that's happening in the physical world.
"In women, the vast majority of sex is going on in their minds," explains Dr. Anita H. Clayton, a professor in the Department of Psychiatric Medicine at the University of Virginia and author of an upcoming book about the relationship between sex and the psyche. "So we can be easily distracted or shift into another set of feelings very quickly."
Fantasizing is clearly an important component to any sex life. So it's equally important that you get over any concerns you may have that a tendency to fantasize means there's something missing in reality.
Discussion
I just want to say that i am a normal person but sometimes i wonder if something is wrong with me.I visited your site today to find answers and i believe i did.I fantasize of making love to alot of different men while making love with my boyfriend.I will take your advice and keep it my little secret.
I just found this site today and have been reading many of the articles within. Wow. What a group of lonely, sad, depressing people you all are. It is people like you who make relationships more difficult by coming up with all this ridiculous garbage and having people actually fall for it. I doubt many of you will ever experience true love or anything even remotely similar. That is a sad thing. I can only come to the conclusion that the authors of most of these articles in here must have been seriously hurt in a relationship with someone at some point because you all seem so bitter and depressed.
I won't be back here.
I really appreciate the humor of the piece but I disagree with some of the commentary about fantasizing. Its one thing if my husband wants to fantasize that my boobs are bigger or my butt is tighter but its not OK with me for him to fantasize that he is having sex with someone else. If you are making love with your significant other, you should be involved body and soul; you can't do that if, in your mind, you are with a famous male athlete and in his mind, he's with a famous female porn star.
I love the beginning story line-hilarious! This fantasy is so true, I fantize all the time.