Dang, What If I'm A Bad Kisser?

Most people think that they're a good kisser, what if you're wrong?

By Tom Miller — Written on Jun 03, 2009

Our friends over at Lemondrop compiled a great list of Worst Kisses Ever. I feel particularly bad for the young lady who blacked out and came to during her first kiss (and, evidently, not in a good way). Please read it, very funny, evidently some dudes think that tongue into mouth, like p into v, works best as an exploratory affair.

Reading (and laughing and scoffing and wincing) at these tales of woe got me thinking, what if I'm a bad kisser? Almost everyone I've ever met goes through life with the following beliefs about his or herself: "I am a good driver," "I have a good sense of humor," "I am a good listener," "I am a good person," "I am good in bed" and "I am a good kisser." (The last two going hand-in-hand as the ultimate can [eventually] lead to the penultimate.)

(I've only ever devised a strategy for testing the sense of humor: you must like Airplane!, The Royal Tenenbaums and/ or The 40 Year Old Virgin*, if not all of them. The rest of the items are prett-y subjective.)

But don't we all know how to kiss well? Just tilt your head, pucker up and let it rip. God, if it were only that easy. Thinking about it, I have no idea what I even do when I'm kissing. I should leave out the tongue and see if anyone notices. Maybe I could try a little light biting. I could even try opening my eyes (or… heart). It turns out that kissing (unlike humor, cuz funny is funny) is highly subjective. One person's uvula punching perfection is another's tonsil hockey hell**. Read: 10 Things To Know About Kissing

So how do I know if I am (or you are, for that matter) a good kisser? Mae West was once quoted as saying, "Few men know how to kiss well. Fortunately, I've always had time to teach them." So I guess you just have to trust that if they keep coming back for more you're doing something right, right? If you're a little self-conscious, try asking if he/ she digs what you're doing and go from there (DO NOT keep asking, after three positive replies, you're just fishing for compliments). Then again, most people are terrible drivers, so their opinion might be worthless. For my part, I'll just have to rest assured that both ladies I've kissed were pretty pleased. Read: Study: Bad Kissing Is A Deal-Killer In Relationships

Any tricks to know if you're a good kisser or not? Read: 5 Kissing Mistakes To Avoid

*Note: The list once only contained The Royal Tenenbauns but my dad doesn't "get it" and he's hilarious.
**Note: C'mon, let's not be so melodramatic, you're kissing a real, live person who probably thinks you're awesome, right?