Dang, What If I'm A Bad Kisser?
Most people think that they're a good kisser, what if you're wrong?
Our friends over at Lemondrop compiled a great list of Worst Kisses Ever. I feel particularly bad for the young lady who blacked out and came to during her first kiss (and, evidently, not in a good way). Please read it, very funny, evidently some dudes think that tongue into mouth, like p into v, works best as an exploratory affair.
Reading (and laughing and scoffing and wincing) at these tales of woe got me thinking, what if I'm a bad kisser? Almost everyone I've ever met goes through life with the following beliefs about his or herself: "I am a good driver," "I have a good sense of humor," "I am a good listener," "I am a good person," "I am good in bed" and "I am a good kisser." (The last two going hand-in-hand as the ultimate item can [eventually] lead to the penultimate.)
(I've only ever devised a strategy for testing the sense of humor: you must like Airplane!, The Royal Tenenbaums and/ or The 40 Year Old Virgin*, if not all of them. The rest of the items are prett-y subjective.)
But don't we all know how to kiss well? Just tilt your head, pucker up and let it rip. God, if it were only that easy. Thinking about it, I have no idea what I even do when I'm kissing. I should leave out the tongue and see if anyone notices. Maybe I could try a little light biting. I could even try opening my eyes (or… heart). It turns out that kissing (unlike humor, cuz funny is funny) is highly subjective. One person's uvula punching perfection is another's tonsil hockey hell**. Read: 10 Things To Know About Kissing
So how do I know if I am (or you are, for that matter) a good kisser? Mae West was once quoted as saying, "Few men know how to kiss well. Fortunately, I've always had time to teach them." So I guess you just have to trust that if they keep coming back for more you're doing something right, right? If you're a little self-conscious, try asking if he/ she digs what you're doing and go from there (DO NOT keep asking, after three positive replies, you're just fishing for compliments). Then again, most people are terrible drivers, so their opinion might be worthless. For my part, I'll just have to rest assured that both ladies I've kissed were pretty pleased. Read: Study: Bad Kissing Is A Deal-Killer In Relationships
Any tricks to know if you're a good kisser or not? Read: 5 Kissing Mistakes To Avoid
*Note: The list once only contained The Royal Tenenbauns but my dad doesn't "get it" and he's hilarious.
**Note: C'mon, let's not be so melodramatic, you're kissing a real, live person who probably thinks you're awesome, aight?
Discussion
LOL...I've always been a little spazzy about whether I'm a good kisser or not and getting a guy to tell you if they like how you kiss or not is like pulling teeth, at least in my experience.
I do have one truly terrible kissing story though. It happened when I was in my early 20s. This guy that I'd been out on a couple of dates with and I were at a party. Needless to say, he'd consumed quite a few drinks (I guess he needed liquid courage to really kiss me as we'd only "pecked" at the end of our 2-3 dates). Okay, first of all he had a lizard tongue - which was GROSS. And when I say lizard tongue, he'd dart it in and out of my mouth. Then, because he was falling down drunk, half the time he'd try and I mean TRY to kiss my ears or my neck, but just stuck his tongue in my ear (ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww - wet willy) or lick my throat. Then to top it all of, his piece de resistance was that he licked my face. Yes, I said that, he LICKED my face. I finally was like, "what the f*ck are you doing????" and said I needed to get going. Needless to say that guy had to be quite possibly the worst kisser in my experience. From then on I always referred to him as "Sir Licks-a-lot"...LMAO
