Staying Friends With An Ex's Family

By

broken heart
After a breakup, the ties to a former lover's family are hard to break.

Last night I had a drink (okay, we had three) with my ex-fiance’s mother—she had called me previous to her coming into town and has asked if I wanted to meet up. I hadn’t seen her since about three weeks before our initial break/split/whatever, when she had come to town with her husband to meet my mom and see one of the spots we were considering for our wedding. Throughout the break process she was very kind and as supportive as she could be, given that I was in the middle of a relationship crisis with her son. I think she was so kind and supportive to me because obviously she is just a kind and supportive person in general, but also because she had come to think of me as part of her family—that’s why I think our breakup was so hard on her. And on me.

When I told a few friends that I was planning on meeting her for drinks, a couple thought I was a little nutty. One friend said, “I would advise against that. People lose things that mean a lot to them when break ups happen, but moving on does not mean keeping the ex’s mother in your life.” When I explained that she was much more to me than my ex’s mother, and that the relationship we hoped to maintain was about friendship, and one that had nothing to do with HIM, he softened. Still, though I was 99% excited to see her, a small part of me was nervous—would we end up talking about my ex? What if I was to find something out that would hurt me? Would hurt to see her and be reminded that she could ONLY be my friend and not my mother-in-law? And how much did she know about what has gone on with me since the split. She’s an avid Frisky reader, or was before, at least, but had she been keeping up on the site recently? Did she know about the $527 makeout? (Yes.) Or chicken parm guy? (Yes.) Or my pathetic attempts to screw my male friends and my subsequent sex sabbatical? (God, I hope not.) Most of all, what topics were on the table for discussion? And did I look hot and glowing and amazing enough that she wouldn’t able to help herself from telling her son how great his ex looked and seemed?

Read the rest on The Frisky.

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