There are guys (and gals!) out there who do not wear wedding rings. Some of them have never had a ring (weird hand-fasting ceremonies, etc) and some just choose not to encircle the fourth finger on their left hand with a hunk of precious or semi-precious metal. I'm sure you know a few of them and their reasoning may even make sense. But a lot of the rationale is BS and doesn't really hold up in the light of day. Here are our top ten excuses for not wearing a wedding ring.
10) The Protection Racket: Insurance is expensive and feels like a rip-off. Don't laugh, I have a good friend who leaves her ring at home because she doesn't have insurance. Uh, maybe you can just get a hold-me-over ring until you get around to calling Geico (for your moneeeeey).
9) Ring Of Invisibility: Old Frodo went all transparent when they popped the One Ring on. Some women (and like 5 men) feel like they've gone into stealth mode when don wedding bands. Scrubs is a big fan of this concept, even The Todd won't hit on a chick wearing a ring.
8) Restless Finger Syndrome: This mostly afflicts the dudes. There is something very foreign about wearing jewelry when you're used to riding all naked-handed and some guys (and like 5 chicks) can't help but fiddle. Get used to it, hopefully you'll be rocking this uncomfortable hunk of white gold for the rest of your natural life.
7) You Must Acquit: This damn ring shrank. Nah, guy, your fingers got chubbier. It's possible that you're retaining water, if you're a woman. It's OK; you can get that ring resized or go on a number of finger-specific diets like the Dr. Handkins, Knuckle Watchers, Jenny Carpal, etc.
6) "Over-Gold": Junebug died because of his weakness to gold chains and lots of folks see I'm Gonna Git You Sucka as a cautionary tale. Some men and women just don't have room on their hands to put an extra ring. The Mafia don can't stand the sound of his pinkie ring tinking against his wedding band, the winner of the 1992 Cotton Bowl doesn't want to dishonor his buddies by taking off his jewelry and Sasha Fierce is not removing that full-hand ring for nothing, no way, no how.
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