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Top 10 Excuses For Not Wearing A Wedding Ring

Lots of people don't wear their wedding ring and only some want to sleep with other people.

There are guys (and gals!) out there who do not wear wedding rings. Some of them have never had a ring (weird hand-fasting ceremonies, etc) and some just choose not to encircle the fourth finger on their left hand with a hunk of precious or semi-precious metal. I'm sure you know a few of them and their reasoning may even make sense. But a lot of the rationale is BS and doesn't really hold up in the light of day. Here are our top ten excuses for not wearing a wedding ring.

10) The Protection Racket: Insurance is expensive and feels like a rip-off. Don't laugh, I have a good friend who leaves her ring at home because she doesn't have insurance. Uh, maybe you can just get a hold-me-over ring until you get around to calling Geico (for your moneeeeey).

9) Ring Of Invisibility: Old Frodo went all transparent when they popped the One Ring on. Some women (and like 5 men) feel like they've gone into stealth mode when don wedding bands. Scrubs is a big fan of this concept, even The Todd won't hit on a chick wearing a ring.

8) Restless Finger Syndrome: This mostly afflicts the dudes. There is something very foreign about wearing jewelry when you're used to riding all naked-handed and some guys (and like 5 chicks) can't help but fiddle. Get used to it, hopefully you'll be rocking this uncomfortable hunk of white gold for the rest of your natural life.

7) You Must Acquit: This damn ring shrank. Nah, guy, your fingers got chubbier. It's possible that you're retaining water, if you're a woman. It's OK; you can get that ring resized or go on a number of finger-specific diets like the Dr. Handkins, Knuckle Watchers, Jenny Carpal, etc.

6) "Over-Gold": Junebug died because of his weakness to gold chains and lots of folks see I'm Gonna Git You Sucka as a cautionary tale. Some men and women just don't have room on their hands to put an extra ring. The Mafia don can't stand the sound of his pinkie ring tinking against his wedding band, the winner of the 1992 Cotton Bowl doesn't want to dishonor his buddies by taking off his jewelry and Sasha Fierce is not removing that full-hand ring for nothing, no way, no how.

5) I Ain't Into That: Some men (and 4 women) just don't like jewelry. They've never worn it and why start now? You'll have plenty of time to sacrifice when it comes time to save for college, braces and whatever therapy comes from being the only family on the block whose parents didn't love each other enough to show the world their commitment. Or you could get a tattoo of a wedding band and another that reads "[Insert Your Name] & [Insert Spouse's Nickname] 4-Ever" on your belly.

4) What's Good For The Goose Is Good For The Gander: "My husband isn't wearing his ring, so why should I?" The quid pro quo defense is hard to argue against. What is a marriage if not a, hopefully, life-long game of one upsmanship? "Fine, you may earn more money, but I get your idiot kids to school, clean, create all the meals, make sure the car doesn't miss an oil change and seldom orgasm from sex, so where you at, big baller?" From there it usually devolves into name-calling and an exact accounting of what each member of the household contributes.

Can you relate?

Discussion

violetlass Single no-existent
Posted February 25, 2009

I love wearing rings, when I lived in the city and I had to take the bus every where, I wore my old 1/7th of a carat diamond ring on my left hand (where it used to be) and that actually kept those weirdos from talking my ear of or trying to pick up on me.
I also knew a guy that didn't wear his wedding ring while he was driving around in a limo because he would get picked up on more wearing it then not. He said some women think that its a game to get a married guy to have sex with them. So if it keeps the cougars off of you while your working go for it.

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justmyluck Complicated
Posted January 13, 2009

My wedding ring get snagged on everything and its annoying. Is that a good enough reason? I think so. I barely ever wear my ring unless its a party or social gathering.

Score: 1
been uesed for my money Married Be honest with yourself
Posted January 12, 2009

My wife likes to remove her wedding ring whenever we have a fight and leave it off until she 'feel' married again. Its just a piece of jewelry to her . . .

Score: 0
Lyz Married Community Manager
Posted December 30, 2008

sometimes I don't wear my ring because in the winter my hands get so dry that my rings make my skin raw and itchy. We should add "The Old Raw and Itchy" excuse.

Score: 0
Tom Single
Posted December 19, 2008

I just read that Beyonce has to wear a $5,000 imitation of her $5,000,000 / 18 carat ring. We can put: "I Don't Want You To See Me Shine" as 10b.

TM

Score: 1

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