5 Things Men (Really) Think About Sex

what men think about sex


What guys think about sexual history, one night stands and the term "slutty."

1967 may have been the summer of love, but 2008 will go down as the summer of sex. Women flocked to the theaters to see if Carrie would really walk down the aisle with Mr. Big in Sex and The City: The Movie, and they are tuning in on Thursday nights for a peak at the lives of '70s-era swingers in Swingtown.

At the same time, we males increasingly find ourselves confronted by some pretty powerful notions about our sex drives and how we respond to the 21st century woman (or, more accurately, Hollywood's portrayal of the 21st century woman). While Swingtown and SATC may be titillating, or even liberating for women, the reality is that these kinds of programs tend to feed into longstanding myths about men and our expectations of the women in our lives. To combat this problem, here are five common myths about men, along with the reality behind them.

MYTH #1: Men are intimidated when a woman has had a lot of sexual partners.

REALITY: Honestly, we men try to spend as little time as possible thinking about how many people you've been to bed with and what you did sexually before meeting us. We're glad you have the mechanics down, but, beyond that, ignorance is bliss. It isn't the experience that freaks us out; it's the talking about it that's the real problem. When you tell us you learned this amazing technique from a Kundalini teacher in Prague, we're then stuck with the mental image of you steaming up a yoga studio with another man. Not cool! So tell us you found that move in a Kama Sutra book and have always wanted to try it out. Yeah, we'll know you're probably fibbing, but we'll be much happier without that yoga teacher in our heads.

MYTH #2: "Slutty" is an out-of-date concept. Men expect women to be as sexually forward as we are.

REALITY: Well, maybe, maybe not. Let me ask you this: How special would you feel if we made it clear to you that we'll pretty much go home with anything in a skirt? Not very, am I right? Despite a rather memorable low point in the '90s, when men were expected to be sensitive and shy and cry at movies, the mating game hasn't really changed all that much over the years. We let you know we're attracted to you sexually early and often, and you tell us how far we can go and when. Generally, nobody's more surprised than we are when you say "yes" right off the bat. This doesn't mean we'll think you're a slut if you sleep with us on the first date, but we will wonder why we were able to seal the deal so quickly. We may decide that the chemistry was simply too amazing to wait. On the other hand, we might think that you aren't all that discriminating about who you take to bed. If our goal is to find a temporary sexual partner, this isn't necessarily a problem. But if we're looking for something more long-term, we may decide to keep searching until we find someone who wants "us," not just anyone with the right anatomy.

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