Inside An NYC Sex Club
The founders of NYC sex party Chemistry reveal what goes on behind closed doors.
Meet KennyBlunt and SheilaMonster—a sexually adventurous married couple with a shared appreciation for Burning Man and burlesque. Frustrated with the limitations of the traditional "swinging" scene they experienced at sex parties, the duo formed an exclusive N.Y.C. sex party called Chemistry. The couple place ambiance at a premium—Chemistry books burlesque acts and "awesome" DJs for the event—and its locale in rented Brooklyn loft spaces is both elegant and welcoming. "People can walk in jeans and sneakers or tuxedos and be equally comfortable," says Sheila. YourTango sat down with Kenny and Sheila to discuss the party, the meaning of "lifestyle," and the ways sex clubs can rev up your sex life.
Why did you start Chemistry?
SheilaMonster: We were involved recreationally in lifestyle [sex] parties, including one in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn. We were friends with the people who ran it, and we were like "Let's see if we can do that!" We felt we were going to provide something that wouldn't be provided by any of the other lifestyle promoter.
Like what?
SM: There was a lot of pressure to have sex at sex parties, but if you weren't having sex, there was really nothing else to do. Ironically, if you create a party where sex is the last thing on people's minds, it relaxes them into a place where they can organically cultivate chemistry.
KennyBlunt: You'd go to another party and, honestly, the conversation you would have twenty times in the night was, "So how long have you been doing this?" "Been to this party before?" "How long have you been going to sex parties?" And there was nothing else to talk about. I think we really knew how to threw a party first.
Discussion
Personally I would like to thank you for being presence of mind to think outside the box! You are absolutely right about the typical party. Usually, the ones we have been to, have this meet and greet time, but it happens so early most couples miss it and it is really the time to get drunk. You are right about the usual conversation as well. My husband and I feel if you have to have some kind of recreational stimulant in order to be part of the scene then your not really into it. We don't like being with people or going to parties where the main goal is to have sex with as many as possible in as many "rooms" as possible. Nor do we like getting close to people who smell like a gin distillery or in some drug induced fog. It just doesn't seem right some how. I mean really, open and honest! How is that open and honest? So, I thank you for giving a different avenue of possibilities.
I don't see how this can lead me to happiness or fulfillment. I do think it could make me very sick and extremely miserable.
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Well, I come from a traditional Christian background and while I wouldn't call myself a traditional Christian I would call myself someone who adheres to a belief in Jesus as God and the truth of the Bible. Things like this are foreign to me and I would be curious to understand how this sort of lifestyle works for a couple and what sort of psychology starts the interest. Forgive me, but I feel that women in particular are naturally relationship oriented, especially where monogamy is concerned and I've always sort of felt that people who migrate towards this sort of event have been hurt and/or abused in their past. Sure, I think some people are just openly sexually promiscuous because they want to be or they are "just like that" but for the majority--nah. Something has gone wrong. I would openly welcome friendship with participants to find out more about their interests and personality outside of sex.
