7 Ways To Stay Happy (All Year Long)

Ah, Valentine’s Day, the one annual holiday where couples-only need apply. It’s one thing to keep your Valentine happy in the short term. Expensive baubles and dinners will do that. For the long haul, however, more original techniques are required. Having taken the vow, everyone wants a long, loving and happy marriage, yet half of all marriages are destined to fail. As a 42 year old male Manhattanite who’s been with the same woman for 17 years, married 12 and had a child for 5 I think I have a few tricks to keep your mate happy. To whit:

1. Sex. Put out or get out. Marriage is, among other things, a convenient means of getting laid on a regular basis. Or it should be. Granted, the pelvic coals may dim a bit with time, but if they’re completely dark then Fix The Problem. Do it even if you don’t want to; and if you don’t want to, figure out why. A shrink, Viagra, porn, whips, chains, shopping, whatever it takes. If you’re too busy, put an entry in the calendar. Just tired? Get more sleep.

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2. Kissing. Do it early, often and randomly. When you or the Missus leaves for work in the morning, give each other a kiss. Just had a fight over who forgot to make the coffee? Kiss anyway. There’s no better martial lubricant than a good smooch. As for the random part, I kiss my wife whenever she sneezes.