Catch up sex. You know it. It’s a simple concept: having intense and long-winded sex after a time of abstinence. Of course there are many reasons couples have sexless interludes: time when you look back and it’s been weeks or even months for crying out loud. There are surgeries and illnesses, there’s having a baby, living with a baby, living with toddlers (o.k., kids in general), there are long running arguments, and, let’s face it, just a lack of interest. And once the no-sex ball gets rolling for any reasons, it seems that your sex-drive rolls right away with it.
It becomes difficult to get back into the swing of sex. You’re both o.k. with reading until you fall asleep. I’m not talking here about times when you don’t have sex because you are annoyed with your partner: times when one of you wants it but the other does NOT. I’m speaking here of comfortable, amiable abstinence.
It happens. And I think it happens for most of us more frequently as we get older. To me these sex breaks seem natural and don’t threaten a relationship – that is, if both of you are in agreement about it. After all, couples don’t lose intimacy just because they forego intercourse. In fact, it’s doubly important to keep intimacy alive during sex breaks, don’t you think? So keep touching and kissing, and holding hands, writing love notes and so on.
But then. Hopefully.
You look at each other and say, “This is crazy!” and “How did this happen.” or “Can you believe how long it’s been?” or “Come here lover, it’s time!” In a perfect world then, you BOTH agree to get the embers burning and plan for some good old Catch Up Sex.
And I mean plan. Catch up sex should be every bit as good as make up sex (better!) if planned. Make a big deal out of it. Plan a romantic dinner or a night’s stay at a hotel. Actually, vacations in general are the perfect time for catch up sex (Unless of course your husband stays out till all hours of the night playing drums!). Or spend the whole day together while the kids are at school – lock the doors and devote yourselves to each other’s pleasure. (Appropriately, the pertaining acronym here is C.U.S., as in “Damn, but that was good!”) At any rate, make sure the sex is anticipated AND that you have the space and energy to take your time making love. This is the kind of sex that afterward gives your body a zing just thinking about it. Point made?
Good. Because if the sex is “all that” then it can have the power to propel you back into the swing of sex. It will remind you of how much you love an orgasm and how you would love to have one again tomorrow. And that is key, folks. Catch up sex can be the key to start your passion engine so you can be in (sex) drive for days, or weeks (months even – wouldn’t that be great?). After all, it’s important to have times of sexual exuberance during life-long relationships– no matter how long we’ve been together – to balance out the, ah, inactive times.
Good Luck. Have fun.
This concludes another view from my married (sex) life.