Learn To Flirt Like A Pro
Flirting 101: What works, which celebs do it well and when does it go too far?
YourTango: Did you ever question that you were qualified to write a flirting guide?
Eve: No, not at all. There are a lot of other books that I would feel really nervous about writing, but not the flirting book. I am a flirt. I've been a flirt my whole life. You could say I wrote the book just from my own everyday existence.
When I was reading the book, I felt like you were cataloging all my secrets. I was thinking Don't write them down!
It is the kind of book that might be dangerous if it falls into the enemy's hands. You can't give away the whole female love arsenal.
What tips would you give to someone who is just starting to flirt, or wants to become a better flirt?
She has to determine what her flirt style is going to be. It should initially gel with her own personality: Is she shy? Is she a comedian? Is she an interrogator type? There's also a flirt I call the refusal flirt—a lot of guys are very curious about the girl that won't flirt. If you're a flirt expert, then you're versatile in many styles. But if you've only got one good thing, then stick with that.
Is there a key move that works across styles?
Put your hand on his arm. Touch a guy. If you are making a connection, electricity happens. You also find out really fast if he's interested in you. You shouldn't be flirting up the wrong tree; it's a waste of your energy.
Anything else?
If you're sitting next to someone, at first I like to sit so that I'm giving him the full display. You know: "Look at me." Then, just when they get really warmed up, I like to turn away. Then it's up to them to say something or do something that makes me turn to them again. Certain elements of this will seem a little actressy—and there's nothing wrong with that.
Is the best flirt in the room the one that's dancing on the bar?
No, if your eye is a moving camera and you scan the whole bar, the one who's really winning is the one who is having a one-on-one conversation with a guy.
Do you think that good-looking people are the best flirts?
No. Sometimes I think that good-looking people are the worst flirts because they don't have to learn any skills. I actually think the best flirts are people who are smart and have developed a personality.
In the book you talk a lot about flirty dressing; are you a flirty dresser?
Yes. I went to a cocktail party the other day and I had to say to a friend of mine, "Too much cleavage?" But it's not just boobs. If you don't have boobs, that's fine. I know a lot of guys that really like the no-boob look. There's always somebody out there. But I have a very flirty dressing style, which is: low-cut jeans and cowboy boots. You feel really powerful in cowboy boots. And you're going to do your best flirting if you feel confident.
Discussion
For a while, I thought that I couldn't flirt. How wrong I was! There is a flirting type out there for everyone- I just hadn't found mine yet. I'm more of a sarcastic/comedy flirt girl. And now, I've learned how to adapt my flirting to the guy a bit. ;) One step closer to being a pro!!!
I like flirting. And the "dont promise what you cant deliver" is soo true. Best Way I learned to flirt...Working at Hooters as a Server. When your paycheck relies on flirting with your tables you pick up the trade. You have to learn how to judge people by watching the way they act at first and the things they say. I think there's a diferent way to flirt with different types of people. Even if its another girl, not in a "lesbian im hitting on you" kind of way but a way that just makes them feel good. we were taught that most women hate Hooters girls so you have to learn how to flirt them up just as well as a guy because sometimes they're the one tipping you. It's harmless and who doesnt like to be flirted with. Working there was really good training for social skills but not for all people just like any type of learning different people take different things from what they're being taught. Personally for me it was great!
Thats ok, but I like this page:
i totaly agree. i love to flirt any chance i get. it just gives me the confidence boost i need and makes me feel atractive. i love the attention it brings :) even though my friends bag me all the time lol.
Absolutely agree about confidence and flirting. In addition being from the South, flirting is definitely an art we belles have.
As far as this "Typing flirtation is the newest thing that is happening. It takes away that element of who
I agree 100%! I think confidence plays a big role in your ability to flirt, and you're genetically pre-disposed. I'm a gifted flirt, but my sister is not so much, and I learned many more tricks when I moved south for 15 years. Maturity has also helped, I've come into my own!
