A Girl's Guide to Anal Sex
Get the goods on joining the backdoor betty club.
Dr. Hilda Hutcherson loves sex toys, believes the world is much too pornophobic, and thinks more women should give anal sex a try. In other words, she's the gynecologist every guy wants his girlfriend to meet.
Women who don't enjoy anal sex, she says, are probably doing it wrong. Intrigued, I scheduled an 8am consultation with the doctor to get the goods on joining the backdoor betty club.
I'm pretty sure the butt wasn't made to be penetrated. Is anal sex bad for you?
You're not going to hurt yourself if you follow the rules.
There are official anal sex rules?
You've got to want it. You've got to use lots of lubricant. And you've got to take it slowly.
How much, exactly, is a lot of lube?
You need A LOT. You've got to rub it all over the penis. Then, using your fingers, put the lubricant around the anal opening and up inside.
One of my friends said Astroglide is not good for anal.
Glycerin-based lubes [like Astroglide] don't last long enough. A silicone-based lubricant is going to be a lot better for anal sex. If you use one of the others, you have to stop, put more on, reenter… it's just a mess.
Anal sex is probably a messy endeavor anyway, right?
No, no! I wouldn't say so, but everybody thinks you're going to have feces all over the place.
Really? Because I've heard stories.
Well, if she were constipated, yes. Otherwise, no, not if she has normal bowel functions. The anus does not usually have feces until it's ready to evacuate.
Can all women orgasm from anal sex?
Every woman has the ability to orgasm, physiologically, because the space between her vagina and rectum is so thin that, in the doggie position, the penis is going to press up against her g-spot. Some women find it's the easiest way to stimulate their g-spot.
So is that the position you'd recommend for women during anal?
For those just starting out, I think getting on all fours might be a little too intense, because she doesn't have as much control. Lying on your side in the spooning position won't allow penetration that's as deep. It's also a more relaxing position. When you become more comfortable, the doggie is the easiest way for a woman to orgasm.
Is it possible to hurt her if the penis is thrust too far in?
The penis is only so long! Contrary to what men believe, the average penis is five inches or less, erect. But if you're talking an extra-long toy then, yes, it's possible.
I think I just heard the male ego shatter. I found it interesting to learn that you can lose things in the butt. Does it happen often?
Not often, but it does happen. If people don't use something with a wide base, it can slip in.
In your book, Pleasure: A Women's Guide to Getting the Sex You Want, Need, and Deserve, you use the phrase, "being sucked in." It's not like a black hole, right? It sounds scary.
No! No! I mean, if something gets sucked in, you have to go to an emergency room most of the time to have it removed.
Discussion
I think men like the idea of anal sex, but when in the moment they worry too much that they are hurting their lover.
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@Carrissima - I feel strongly that it is up to each individual woman to determine what she wants, and feels comfortable with, sexually. Who are you to tell women that anal sex is "unnatural" or "degrading," and in doing so, pass judgment on anyone who enjoys it? (btw, anal sex is nothing new - people have been doing it for hundreds of years; look it up.)
Think about it: If the guy doesn't folllow all these instructions then he can"mess" the girl up. Everyone needs to type in the term "Gay bowel syndrome" on the internet. No offense to gays but ,that is the name given because it was occurring most frequently in the gay community. Gee I wonder why?
Pushing your penis up her ass is unnatural and there is always the risk of fecal matter entering the digestive system and messing her up for life. Even "rimming" is dangerous despite what you see in pornos!
So ladies realize that just like "c*m shots" in porn, anal sex, is mainly a guys fantasy . Don't degrade yourself . You have already degraded yourself enough trying to please men and they don't respect us anymore.What women do you know of in real life who likes c*m spilled on her face afterwards? PLEEESE.
@Carrissima
Ha ha oh wow. For starters Gay Bowel Syndrome is an outdated medical term from the dark ages used to describe a variety of things such as STDs and G.I. problems. Not only is it ancient but it falls under the same category as Joseph McCarthy's "red scare", aka bullshit used to scare people in the 50's. Citing rectal prolapse would have been far more relevant and not portrayed you as someone from the midwest who gets their information from church pamphlets.
Second - "Fecal matter entering the digestive system", because the intestinal tract isn't part of the digestive system. Grab a human physiology book and learn a little bit about the intestinal tract, because you have to be an idiot to believe a 6 inch penis will force refuse completely up the 20+ feet of both intestinal tracts. Not to mention the natural contractions of it forcing matter towards the anus. Aren't you a special one.
Third - "is unnatural". Someones got some sexual issues. Explain how it's any more unnatural then fellatio. Enjoy your missionary position sex life.
Forth - "already degraded yourself enough" Oh god, someones got a lot of sexual issues. Please explain to me how it's degrading between two consenting adults. Perhaps, and this is just a wild guess here pumpkin, they don't respect you because you're an idiot.
Fifth - It's spelled please, not please.
Are you a preteen from the Midwest, seriously?
I've tried anal sex with my girlfriend two times and both times she had an orgasm and seemed like she liked it until after she noticed there was blood both times and doesn't want to do it anymore. Is there a reason there was blood we went very slow and i'm above average but not that big.
The penis is only so long! Contrary to what men believe, the average penis is five inches or less, erect.
That's about one-hundred percent wrong.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Penis_frequency.svg
The average penis length is between six and six and a quarter inches.
I don't know if this is a person we should be taking vague, generalist advice from. As she either doesn't know how long an inch is, or has never seen a penis in real life.
i have done anal with my fiance and it doesnt hurt at all. at first i did hurt and i didn't like it. but now its like the best feeling, and i get orgasms just doing it. it is kinda hard to like position yourself when standing but it is a really good feeling.
I had never tried anal sex with my ex (nor wanted to) but my current wife encouraged me and I will admit it is very different and she DOES have great orgasms when we anal (me too). Its not something we do all the time, usually she needs a few drinks to loosen up so we plan it. Trust is a huge part of the act. She has to know that if she says ouch or stop that you will. Go slow at first, lots and lots of lube, as things progress see how agressive you both want to proceed. It IS a new and wonderful experience.
To PM2, if its not something either of you really want or enjoy then I suggest you relax and if you decide to later then go for it. Its something special for us and we enjoy it more because of that reason.
My ex was abusive and forced anal on me. It was never meant to be something for us to share pleasure from. Anyway he's history.
I started dating my current boyfriend 8 years ago. after I decided he was the right guy. Kind, caring. I offered him anal sex. He replied he never tried it before. well we attempted it but he couldn't manuever his way in. We never tried it again. Should I offer again or just let it go?
While I've never had any sort of sex before, I say you should try it again. Like the doc said, give it some time. You all may not get there the second or even the third time you all try, but when you do get there it may be well worth it - and if it's not, then at least you all know for sure rather than wondering what your possibly missing out on. As long as both of you are comfortable with it and are on the same page, try giving it another shot.
Alternative - For those who might have a boyfriend that wants it but you just really don't want to go there, I have a suggestion. Try lying on your stomach with your butt slightly elevated. Now, keeping your legs together with his on the outside, have your partner enter you vaginally from behind (some extra lube and a little guidance from your hand to make sure he is on target may help). You won't get a lot of penitration this way but personally, I find this very stimulating and it's very easy to fantisize that we are having anal without forcing her to do something that she isn't ready to try. A little verbal role playing will go a long way here but make sure he knows in advance that it is only role playing and not an invitation so his excitement doesn't get the best of him. ;-)
