I thought I'd had "rough sex" before; I'd been spanked on my butt plenty of times, had my hair pulled, even been caned once while strung up with my hands over my head. That hurt, and I cried, and I liked it, because I'm submissive like that, but it was just a one-time thing. I'd had plenty of encounters with talking dirty, spinning all sorts of nasty fantasies, where, most of the time, I was on the receiving end of some very hot epithets. But I'd never wanted to be choked until I got together with the … Read More

There's nothing wrong with a hot-n-heavy game of dirty cowboy. And according to Deborah Yvette Parker, that's all she and her commonlaw husband, Broderick Craig Crachian, were partaking in when he died of an accidental gunshot wound to the chest. I Wanna Be A Cowboy (& You Can Be My Cowgirl)

Describing her as "extremely distraught," Parker's court-appointed attorney, Murray Newman, explained to the Houston Chronicle that: "She loves him, and this is just a terrible accident. My understanding is she was one hundred percent cooperative with the police and very forthcoming in everything she told them."

Among … Read More

"What's that Eva? You want me to do you HOW?" might be an appropriate speech bubble coming out of Tony Parker's mouth in the accompanying photograph.

According to The Sun's "Best Sex Ever" survey of "A-List celebs," the answer for Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria, it seems, is to be tied up with silk scarves during love making. Why We Fantasize And What's Normal

Eva, 34, said: "I’m not averse to being tied up with silk scarves, I like a man to take charge. There’s something very sexy about being submissive."

But Eva isn't fetishizing alone. That … Read More

Certain words I dread ("We need to schedule two more dental appointments") while others I would kill to hear ("Ann Coulter's physician confirms sex-change operation").

And then there are statements that defy imagination, such as; "My husband gave me the greatest birthday present last night—a public flogging." I actually overheard one of my exotic dance students say these exact words last week.

Now, I'm not exactly unfamiliar with the BDSM scene. My education began a few years ago, while browsing the aisles of my favorite sex shop. A man came up to me and asked, "Are you a Dom or … Read More

In this week's Savage Love, a young woman writes to Dan Savage about her desire for rough sex and her new boyfriend's seeming inability to give it to her.

"The last guy I dated used to toss me around like a rag doll," she explains, "and I miss being dominated." Why We Fantasize And What's Normal

In order to remedy the situation, the woman has hatched a scheme: have a threesome with her new boyfriend and her ex-boyfriend, so that the new boyfriend can learn the basics of bondage, rape fantasies, etc. The new boyfriend, she tells … Read More

If a woman's sexual fantasies involve degradation, domination—rape, even—is she anti-feminist, disturbed or worse? When does sex become "dirty," and does writing erotic fiction involving humiliation mean the author is a sex-crazed, pain-loving looney? From Best Sex Writing 2009 (Cleis Press, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel), Kristina Lloyd's essay "The Pleasure of Unpleasure" explores the delicate relationship between fantasy and reality, the risk of bringing private thoughts public and gives a glimpse into the life of an erotica writer.

All writers get bad reviews. If you write erotica, your sexuality gets reviewed as well. Trust … Read More

I haven't met many men that like to be dominated on a regular basis, but most gals I know like to take charge in the bedroom, at least from time to time. Aside from obvious dominate/submissive relationships, how do regular ol' Joes feel about women taking charge between the sheets, both is subtle ways—directing the positions and the pace—and with more obvious methods—spanking, restraints, etc.? I went to the guys on my IM to find out how they feel about being dominated.

Sample answers: The Hipster Guy: I can say I don't like it all that much, that's … Read More

BDSM torture area. Check. Voyeurism peep hole. Check. Dad, grandma and sister on the payroll. Check. Welcome to the Power Exchange, a sex club unlike any other in San Francisco, California. Like a lot of sex clubs, there's a place to get spanked and a plethora of comfortable, water-resistant furniture. But unlike any we've come across before, it's family owned and operated and has been since 1995. That said, we don't think we'll be bringing Aunt Josie there anytime soon.

Some things really knock the wind out of the sails of passion and somethings are just momentary hurdles in the pursuit of amore. The biggest fear when entering one's first foray into bondage is the danger (and thrill) of being left trussed up. Knowing location of the keys and the exact intonation and identity of the safe word are of upmost importance; your genitals and psyche may depend on it. For what it's worth, a Michigan couple forgot rule 1 and had to call the fuzz to release the cuffs, per the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Do you think there's … Read More

According to Jezebel, gentlemen do prefer blonds but choose to marry brunettes. We suppose the gingers are just SOL. The book Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blonds suggests some chemical nonsense goes on and everybody gets laid. According to Market Watch, dating site plentyoffish.com has seen a doubling in the last 4 years of women just looking for sex. No word on whether they're blonde, brunette, or carrot-topped. And it's all starting to make sense, because The Times says that 30% of sex addiction cases in the US are now women. … Read More