Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Being Upset After Her Fiancé Got Her A Painting Instead Of What She Wanted For Christmas
Her fiancé criticized her for "bringing down the mood."
PeopleImages. com Yuri A / Nataliass / Gonzalo de Miceu / Shutterstock A woman who was expecting to receive a popular purse from her fiancé for Christmas was displeased when he revealed the gift he got for her instead.
When the woman expressed her frustration at her fiancé, he criticized her for “bringing down the mood” during Christmas. Now, she is wondering if she is in the wrong for her reaction and if it really is the thought that counts.
The woman’s fiancé bought her an $8,000 painting of a monkey for Christmas instead of the $200 purse she had on her wishlist.
Sharing her story to Reddit, the 26-year-old woman revealed that her 27-year-old fiancé, Dave, was looking forward to the holidays since he received a bonus at work.
“[He] told me he was ‘going to go all out’ for me this year to make up for the past Christmases where we couldn't really afford anything,” she wrote. “He asked me what I wanted and I said I wanted a popular fuzzy bag that was making the rounds on social media.”
On Christmas Eve, the woman and Dave went to his parent’s house to spend the holidays with them, Dave’s three brothers, and their spouses. Each of them gathered together and took turns opening their Christmas gifts. As the woman watched her future sisters-in-law open thoughtful and extravagant gifts, including fur coats and air fryers, she grew excited with the thought of opening up her new purse.
Photo: Tijana Moraca / Shutterstock
However, when it was her turn to open her gift, Dave handed his fiancé his phone. “I looked and thought I was going to see a track package page for the bag. Instead, all I saw was an art picture of a monkey that was supposed to look like me,” she wrote. “I asked him what this was, and he said that was my gift!”
Dave explained that with his new bonus, he grew interested in investing and had been saving up to buy the painting for the woman. When she asked just how much money he had "invested" in the painting, she was stunned when he revealed it it be $8,000.
Dave’s family was just as dumbfounded by his gift choice as the woman was.
“Everyone started laughing, which made Dave mad and me even more embarrassed,” the woman wrote.
Dave’s brother also noted that a painting of a monkey that was supposed to resemble his fiancé was in “poor taste,” given that the woman was Black and Dave was Caucasian.
When Dave asked the woman to defend him to his family, she grew so embarrassed that she fled to the bathroom and cried. An hour later, she called herself an Uber and booked a hotel room for the remainder of their visit.
Later, Dave called the woman complaining about her behavior and claimed that she “brought down the mood” at his family’s house. He also labeled her “materialistic” for being upset over receiving a painting rather than the purse she originally asked for.
Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock
“I told him all I wanted was a $200 bag and he spent $8K on a monkey picture!” the woman wrote. “He told me that he was investing in our future together and that I just couldn’t see his vision.”
While the woman admitted that there were “better ways” she could have reacted to the unexpected gift and that she felt guilty for leaving without warning, she claimed that she felt uncomfortable by the entire situation and “didn’t feel like staying around to be laughed at.”
Many people sided with the woman, believing that the painting had racist undertones and was an inappropriate gift.
“Giving a Black woman a picture of a monkey that is supposed to ‘look like her?’ That is so inappropriate. I am offended for you,” one Redditor commented.
“Investing in art can be great, but THIS? You two need to have a serious talk,” another wrote.
“I think this is a huge red flag. He is completely disconnected from you and your wishes,” a third user noted.
Many believed that Dave’s family was not laughing at the woman, but rather at his poor gift choice. Others could not fathom why Dave would choose to invest $8,000 on a painting instead of the $200 purse that his fiancé asked for, no matter how big his bonus was.
Monkeys and other animals are common subjects in art, and the content of the painting itself is not inherently racist. However, stereotypes and racist imagery have historically associated black individuals with monkeys in a derogatory manner. It's crucial to be aware of these negative connotations and avoid perpetuating stereotypes that may cause discomfort or offense.
Before giving such a gift, Dave should have considered his fiancé’s personality, preferences, and their relationship. When it comes to gift giving, it's the thought that counts — not the price tag.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.