20 Secret Power Moves Women Can Use To Create A Life They Love
Life is a journey, so here's what you need to get ahead.
If you are looking for power moves to help create a life you love, you must first realize that we all live by one universal truth: No one gets through life unscathed by a few hard-learned lessons. Whether navigating a bad breakup, an international move, or a cultural faux pas, my journey has been filled with its fair share of missteps, overthinking, and occasional stumbles.
But each day, I’m learning — sometimes through laughter, sometimes through tears. These lessons have sometimes been painful, but they have also given me insights that have helped me move through my present day with more grace and clarity.
Today I am sharing 20 little shifts in perspective, power moves if you will, that can make navigating the ups and downs of life feel a bit lighter, more intentional, and yes, a whole lot simpler. Here are a few power moves to help you create a life you love.
Here are 20 power moves every woman can use to get ahead in life:
1. Be your true self — even when it's scary
One of the greatest compliments I have ever received was given to me by my dear friend, Paul, who told me, "You allow everyone to be who they are without fear and love them for all of it." It not only touched my heart but it stayed branded in my brain as a constant reminder to try and make everyone I met feel that way.
Authenticity isn’t about pleasing or riding roughshod over others. It's about living boldly as your true self and understanding that some people will not align with you, and that’s okay.
By leaning into your truest nature, you will not only find a greater sense of purpose, but you'll also attract a better tribe. According to research from UC Berkeley, embracing your authenticity not only fosters a happier, more fulfilled life but also leads to stronger, more meaningful relationships.
2. Boundaries are important
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If there is one thing we all learn the hard way it's that life isn’t meant to be a smooth journey. You’ll lose friends, have your heart broken, and take wrong turns along the way.
While these moments of pain and sorrow are inevitable, they are also much-needed lessons in resilience and help you learn to recognize your vulnerable spots and establish healthy boundaries. Boundaries aren’t about building walls — they're about creating a space where you can grow and heal without losing yourself in the process. By honoring your limits, you don’t just shield yourself from unnecessary pain — you become stronger and more resilient, ready for whatever comes next.
3. You aren’t defined by your relationship status
Despite what romantic comedies and societal norms might have you believe, you don't need a partner to 'complete' you. You are whole, complete, and valid all on your own. Period.
Yet, here we are months away from 2025, and women, in particular, are still ridiculed and invalidated for being single, as if their entire worth is tied to whether or not some dude on Tinder decides to commit. It's absurd. While recent data from Morgan Stanley shows that more women are choosing to remain single, prioritizing their careers, personal growth, and happiness, there are still women who question their value with every perceived rejection.
I spent years doing this myself and I am here to tell you, it's a waste of time. We only get one life (that we know of) and it's crucial to embrace every season of it—whether you're single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between. Live your life fully —with or without a partner — and remember, your worth is not up for debate. Ever.
4. Learn how to communicate
Are you constantly saying "yes" when you really mean "no"? Using silence to send a message or stonewalling to avoid difficult conversations? If so, you may be unintentionally inviting conflict and resentment into your relationships. Clear, respectful communication is a cornerstone of healthy connections, and learning how to express your needs without defensiveness or fear is key to building an environment where trust can truly flourish.
By openly sharing what’s on your mind — whether it’s setting a boundary, voicing a concern, or offering appreciation — you give your relationships the space to thrive. This kind of clarity not only helps prevent misunderstandings but also strengthens the bond between you and others, allowing for deeper, more authentic connections.
5. Embrace uncertainty as an inevitability
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Whether it's a job loss, a breakup, or an unexpected turn of events, life throws us curveballs we never saw coming. It's easy to feel victimized when this happens, but remember that the biggest transformations often happen in moments of uncertainty.
It’s easy to want control, but embracing the unknown opens up space for growth, new experiences, and unexpected joys. Instead of expecting the worst, think of all of the good that might await on the other side of fear.
6. Let go of 'perfect'
In a world of filtered images and carefully curated highlight reels, it can feel like perfection is the baseline. In reality, it's a myth, a construct that only serves to make us feel inadequate.
The beauty of life is found in its messiness, in the mistakes and the lessons that follow. Give yourself permission to show up as you are —flaws, imperfections, and all — and watch your confidence grow.
7. Forgive yourself
We often talk about forgiving others, but learning to forgive yourself is equally — if not more important. Every single person on this earth has made mistakes and is going to make some more.
Some will feel small and others huge. Acknowledge them, learn from them, apologize where you need to, and then choose to move forward with grace. When balanced by accountability, self-compassion isn't an out but a necessity.
8. Stop apologizing for taking up space
Whether it’s using your voice, owning your ideas, or standing up for yourself, stop shrinking yourself out of fear — of being rejected, judged, or making someone else mad. Sure, you want to allow room for others, but you're also allowed to move around your own space with confidence, advocating for your needs and showing up in the world as you are meant to.
10. Trust your intuition
Think of the last time you ignored that gnawing feeling in your gut and how you felt when the situation crashed and burned just like you knew it would. Intuition is more than a hunch, it's an inner voice that's backed by science.
In a study from the University of New South Wales, researchers found that when people trusted their intuition, they nailed decisions with a 68% accuracy rate — proving that our gut feelings are more than just superstition. It’s your brain processing experiences and information faster than you can consciously keep up with, helping you make quicker and smarter choices.
So, the next time you feel that inner tug, don’t ignore it. Think of it as your personal superpower — trusting could be the ultimate cheat code.
11. Give yourself permission to start over
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In my 30s, I was working in my dream job, living in an apartment I loved, and enjoying fantastic nights out with some of my very best friends in New York City. On paper, my life was great, but it no longer felt great to me.
After a lot of hard work, saving, and planning, I decided I needed to make a move — all the way to London. I quit my job, sold most of my things, and moved to the UK with two bags and no long-term place to live. Looking back, it seems crazy, but at the time, it felt like the most sensible thing I had ever done.
While the move wasn't easy — culture shock is real — it led me to amazing experiences. I met my husband six weeks later and now have a beautiful little girl. Starting over isn’t a failure, but a fresh opportunity. Whether it’s a career, a relationship, or a personal goal, don’t be afraid to press reset when you need to. Growth — and opportunity — often come from letting go of what no longer serves you and stepping into something new.
12. Take responsibility for your happiness
One of the most detrimental things you can do is put your happiness in someone else's hands. Your happiness is your responsibility, not anyone else’s.
While external factors can influence how you feel, true happiness comes from within. Take ownership of your joy, and don’t wait for someone or something else to provide it for you
13. Choose your circle wisely.
The people you surround yourself with matter because let's be real: life gets bad when you hang around bad people. Choose friends and partners who inspire, support, and challenge you to be the best version of yourself as opposed to ones who make you doubt your worth, double down on your FOMO by excluding you, or otherwise bring negative vibes into your life. You deserve relationships that elevate, not drain, your energy.
14. Learn to love the process, not just the outcome
While achieving a final goal is rewarding, focusing solely on the end result often leaves us missing out on the richness of the journey. The process — the ups, downs, and everything in between — is where the real growth happens.
When you learn to appreciate these moments, success becomes less just about the finish line, but about the lessons, resilience, and joy experienced along the way. And when you finally do reach your goal, it will feel even sweeter, because you’ve truly lived every step of the way.
15. Let go of what you can’t control
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Worrying about things outside your control is completely normal, but it’s also draining and unproductive. In fact, research shows that chronic worry can make situations worse. A study from Penn State University found that 91% of worries never actually come true, and excessive worrying can lead to poorer decision-making and increased stress, often affecting the very outcomes you’re trying to improve.
Instead, focus on what you can influence — your reactions, decisions, and mindset — and release the rest. True peace comes from doing your research, doing your best, and accepting that you still can't control the outcome.
16. You are not responsible for other people
It’s natural to want to help the people you care about, but it’s also crucial to understand that you are not on this earth to save them. You are also not responsible for their actions, emotions, or choices.
Do what you can to support and inspire those around you while also accepting that each person must walk their own path, and you cannot fix or change them. Holding yourself accountable for someone else’s journey not only drains your energy but creates an unhealthy dynamic where the other person is the victim and you're in constant rescue mode.
Instead, of responding to every SOS, focus on maintaining healthy boundaries and trust that others are capable of managing their own lives. By releasing the weight of responsibility for others, you empower them to grow and free yourself to focus on your own well-being.
17. Missing someone doesn’t mean they should be welcomed back
Whether it's a text from an ex you miss, a dramatic old friend you distanced yourself from or a relative you like but know is not healthy for you to engage, it's important to remember that missing someone doesn't always mean they should have a place in your life again. Nostalgia is a natural part of processing loss or change — it acknowledges what once was, but it doesn’t mean what you had is right for you now. You can honor those feelings without reopening a door that was closed for a reason.
18. Back yourself
If you’ve ever walked into a room feeling like you didn’t belong or talked yourself out of an opportunity because you felt you weren't up for the challenge, you're not alone. Research shows that an overwhelming 70% of people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives, questioning their abilities despite evidence of success.
But backing yourself — believing in your potential and taking consistent action that aligns with this belief — is not only essential for your own success, it makes others believe in your potential, too. Not sure where to begin? Commit to taking small intentional steps daily, even when it feels uncomfortable.
By making a habit of supporting yourself, you send a powerful message to yourself and the world: "My goals, dreams, and well-being matter." Watch as your life transforms when you choose to back yourself, no matter what doubts arise.
19. Take the picture
You may not feel you look like a movie star, but so what? The picture is about capturing a memory and the joy you feel in a moment, not creating a fashion or beauty campaign. No one is looking at your perceived flaws, except you, so take the pic, even if you never have plans to post it.
20. Show up
In a society where commitments often feel tentative and people are quick to cancel plans or RSVP with a “maybe,” showing up has become an act of integrity. Treating someone’s time — or worse, their milestones — with a take-it-or-leave-it energy isn’t just careless, it’s mean. Everyone deserves to feel valued, and that begins with respecting their time, presence, and achievements — especially if they were kind enough to want to share it with you.
When you show up — fully, and with intention — you’re telling others that they matter to you. Whether it’s attending a friend’s celebration or simply being present in everyday interactions, committing to show up strengthens your relationships and builds trust.
Don’t underestimate the impact of being reliable and present for the people in your life. True connection is built on mutual respect, starting by honoring your commitments, no matter how small.
Brenda Della Casa is a self-development coach, writer, author, and speaker. Her articles and advice have been featured in Allure, Glamour, Men's Health, Huff Post, Cosmopolitan, and others.