13 Signs Your Life Is Falling Apart And You Need To Get Grounded — Fast
Sometimes, you need to hit the pause button before life hits you harder.
I remember when I was at one of the lowest parts of my life. It was shortly after my baby’s father dumped me and abandoned the family we made.
I was drinking about half a liter of vodka daily, had no issue with being a public trainwreck, and couldn’t hold down a job due to the intense stress I was under. It was a catastrophe and, eventually, I realized that if I kept that up, I’d probably end up dead within a year.
Most people will never fully understand what it’s like to be that out of control. That being said, I had a wake-up call that made me realize that I needed to get my life grounded again. Mine came in the form of having a long-lost friend call me up, asking me how I was.
I realized then if I was honest, I was not okay. I needed to hit the pause button on a lot of my behavior.
Sometimes, the signs we get aren’t necessarily that obvious or “movie-esque,” but make no mistake about it.
If you recognize any of these signs your life is falling apart, you need to hit the stop button.
1. You have begun to make scenes in public, and not in a good way.
A good way to tell if you are no longer grounded in a healthy life is if you find yourself getting banned from clubs, bars, and other venues because you no longer can behave appropriately in public.
On a similar note, if you’re aware that your behavior is not acceptable or normal, that’s often all the signs you need.
2. Drug abuse and alcohol are what glue your life together.
Speaking as someone who’s been there, that’s not a good thing. Ever.
Once you need to have stuff in you in order to make your life livable, you need to hit the pause button and reground yourself. Even if it seems like you’re in control, the substances always end up controlling you.
3. You don't like the person you’ve turned into.
When you look in the mirror, can you honestly say you would respect the person you’ve become? Would you, if you were a stranger, like that person? If not, it may be time to re-evaluate your life and change things.
4. People have gotten increasingly disrespectful toward you.
People tend to do this when they think you will not fight back, or when they stop seeing you as an equal. At this point, you owe it to yourself to take a step back from them and walk away.
Their behavior will not improve by you sticking around and, at this point, it doesn’t make sense to try to waste time trying to explain to them why they should respect you.
5. You regularly think of packing your bags and leaving without telling anyone.
This kind of thought often underlies serious problems in your life that aren’t being confronted well. Maybe it’s time to figure out what needs to be fixed to make yourself feel happier.
6. Your financial situation is horrible and you feel lost as to what to do.
Money is no laughing matter and, in many cases, can indicate that there are a lot more issues with your life than just a low-paying job. If you feel financially cornered, asking for help from an organization or even researching your options may be a good way to fix your life — and get a grip.
7. You can’t hold a job.
This is one of the telltale signs your life is falling apart and that something is very, very wrong. It may be time to stop looking for a job and start looking inward to figure out why you keep getting fired.
8. None of your life plans make sense.
Do your life plans rely on other people supporting you? Do you have no idea what you’re doing with yourself, or have no clue how you can prevent bad stuff from happening to you?
Chances are that you have a lot of issues you may need to work out if this is the case.
9. It feels like you’re the one who’s pulling all the weight in certain relationships, and you’re still hoping it’ll change.
If it feels like you’re the one doing all the work, chances are because it’s true. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that it’s better to just realize what’s happening than it is to try to fight a battle that’s already lost.
10. Something horrible happened and you’re just not coping.
Tragedy happens, yes, but there’s only so much that any person can take. If you recognize that you’re not handling it well, don’t bottle it up. Instead, ask for help and you will be able to move on with your life.
11. Friends have sat you down and tried to talk some sense in you.
Speaking as both the giver and recipient of these talks, this is never a good sign. It’s a sign people are legit scared for you and that they are very close to writing you off as a result of your behavior.
12. You’ve started to get very aggressive and desperate with people.
Doesn’t matter what you’re desperate or aggressive for. What matters is that this kind of behavior indicates that you need to fix something in yourself, fast, before things can get better.
13. A lot of people have told you that you should consider getting outside help.
Typically, people will only tell you that kind of stuff when you’ve flown so far off the handle that you no longer are fully in touch with what’s going on. The more you’re hearing this, the more likely it is that you need to get help when it comes to getting in touch with yourself.
What To Do When Your Life Is Falling Apart
1. Take care of yourself.
When you feel like like your life is falling apart, take a step back and just focus on yourself. Start with self-care routines to get more in tune with your body and what it needs.
Also take good care of your mental health. Start reflecting to decide what is working and what is causing stress. Try journaling or meditation to clear your mind and get focused on one thing at a time.
Your physical health is important, too. Exercise every day for at least 30 minutes to get your blood flowing and release endorphins. Take care of your overall well-being.
2. Make a gratitude list.
Making a gratitude list will help you remember all the good things you have in your life. Write down everything you are grateful for and put the list somewhere you will see it every day, like the refrigerator or front door.
This list can hold any little thing you feel grateful for, from getting out of bed to spending time with your loved ones.
3. Let go of what you cannot control.
If you feel like your life is falling apart, it's because you don't feel in control. So, what can you do?
First, you need to accept the things you cannot change or control. Then, let go. You can try meditating to help you find the energy and strength to do so.
4. Connect with others.
Find solace in others and use your connections. Go out with a friend and get your nails done or head to the local coffee shop together.
Use time with people close to you to vent and get things off your chest. You can also seek advice from others, confiding in friends, family members or even coworkers.
5. Seek professional help.
If all else fails, seeking professional help is the best possible idea. A professional can offer insight and guidance to you back on track. For instance, if you are suffering due to job loss, they can get you in touch with unemployment.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others. Follow her on Twitter for more.