How To Fall In Love With Who You Are — Even When Others Say You're Too Sensitive
A helpful guide for anyone who wonders if it's time to toughen up.
DragonImages | Canva Learning how to love yourself when you're a highly sensitive and intuitive person is tough.
"Don’t be so sensitive!" How many times did you hear that growing up? If you’re like most intuitive and sensitive people, you probably heard it a lot.
When people tell us we’re too sensitive, they usually think they mean, "Stop being so emotional." Or worse, "Your behavior is inappropriate." The stark reality is these types of people generally are not even aware of how uncomfortable your truth makes them feel, and that makes it difficult to learn how to love yourself.
In their desire for us to fit in and succeed, well-meaning teachers and caregivers convey a common but destructive message: It’s more important for you to be sensitive to other people than it is for you to be sensitive to yourself.
If your goal is to be a people pleaser, developing sensitivity to the changing moods and opinions of others is essential. Add to this, people pleasing does not benefit anyone.
However, if you desire happiness, inner balance, and control over your own mood, you must have more self-love and become more sensitive to your needs. Learning to love yourself is key. Once you learn how to redefine sensitivity, you'll learn how to love your sensitive, intuitive self.
Sensitivity and intuition are highly connected. Both require us to become still enough to hear the subtle messages that arise from within.
Here's how to love your truly sensitive self & embrace your empathy
1. Make alone time a priority
Sensitivity is a double-edged sword. You can use it purposefully to become better in touch with your emotions, preferences, and desires.
But, if you don’t focus it on purpose, you’ll likely pick up other people’s stress or discomfort. Unplugging from other people and activities will help you become more receptive to your sensitive and intuitive self.
Give yourself some downtime by listening to a guided meditation — or just sitting quietly observing your breath. This will help you unplug from external forces and reconnect with yourself.
It’s like hitting the reset button — every system in the body and mind works in greater harmony when we take time to be alone.
2. Be aware of unprocessed or unexpressed emotions
Repressed or unprocessed emotions scramble the signals our intuition uses to communicate with us. Feelings we don’t deal with at the moment always resurface at a later time.
Once you’ve settled back into yourself, notice what feelings you need to release to become more emotionally present.
For example, is there a conversation you’ve been putting off? Is there a commitment you need to amend or renegotiate? If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed, is your body asking for more stimulation or more rest?
Take whatever actions that will help you release stored emotions. This will free your intuitive and sensitive self to respond clearly and in the present moment.
3. Be your own best friend
If we’re being honest, most of us would admit we want to feel seen, respected, and understood by others. But, what we may not yet know is that this level of friendship must start within ourselves.
After all, how can you expect others to understand your needs if you’re not clear about them within yourself?
Loving yourself involves a lot of effort. So periodically check in with yourself with the same attentiveness you would show a good friend. Ask simple questions like, "How are you doing?", "What do you need?", or "Is there anything I can do to make your day a little easier or your mood a little lighter?"
Our outer world provides a moment by moment reflection of what is going on in our inner world. The universe will treat us as generously or poorly as we treat ourselves.
Practice being a good friend to yourself and watch as others follow suit.
Intuition speaks to us through our emotions, gut reactions, ideas, and flashes of insight. Pay attention to the rise or fall in your mood, and you’ll know when to take another course of action. The earlier you correct the course, the better for all involved.
Intuition and sensitivity are skills we must continually sharpen in order to be the deliberate creators of our lives. If we’re not sensitive to what’s going on within us, we rob ourselves of the power to create a different outcome.
When you can love, validate, and become sensitive to your intuition, you’ll feel more stable in every aspect of life.
Christy Whitman is an energy healer, transformational leader, celebrity coach, and New York Times bestselling author of 'The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.'