4 Clear Indicators You Suffered From Childhood Emotional Neglect, According To Experts

The long-term effects of childhood emotional neglect (C.E.N.) can impact a person's ability to form and maintain emotional bonds. Being able to heal often starts with recognizing the source of the problem.

Identifying the signs we might have developed emotional blocks from an adverse childhood can allow us to unravel how to heal and adapt for a higher quality and healthier life.

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Here are 4 clear indicators you suffered from childhood emotional neglect, according to YourTango experts:

1. You have developed an insecure attachment style

One indicator you suffered from childhood emotional neglect is an insecure attachment style where you either avoid or turn away from a partner at emotional times or you are excessively needful and clingy. Childhood emotional neglect is evident in an adult personality that falls outside the range of normal and fits in the category of personality disorder.

If neglected as a child, you may be more fearful, untrusting, and overreacting.

— Reta Faye Walker, Ph.D., Relationship Therapist

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2. You need hyper-independence

Often, when we suffer from emotional neglect in childhood, we learn to depend solely on ourselves and have a lack of trust when it comes to depending on others.

— Miki Anderson, PhD, LCMHC

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3. You have difficulties with boundaries and trust

A good indicator is when you have attachment issues in adult relationships. Some classic trademarks of early emotional neglect in adults include poor relationship boundaries, significant trust issues that harm relationships, and fear of abandonment that resists or blocks emotional attachment to partners.

— Dr. Gloria Brame, Ph.D. therapist

Photo: anatoliy_gleb via Shutterstock

4. You are emotionally unavailable

Some common signs someone has suffered through some form of emotional neglect are a lack of self-worth or self-confidence, seeking emotional support or love from emotionally unavailable people, be that friendships or romantic partnerships.

Feeling you are not enough pushes you to hide and not value yourself or your inherent gifts and talents. Overgiving and people-pleasing to try to “win over” the love and appreciation of others. Being emotionally unavailable and closed off from having fulfilling relationships in your own life.

— Michele Molitor, CPCC, PCC, CHt Your Mind Detective Master Coach & Hypnotherapist

People who struggle with the effects of childhood emotional neglect also have many strengths that often correlate with the stumbling blocks above. Independence is not terrible since it gives us problem-solving abilities we carry through life.

Other positive attributes include extra compassion for others, being aware of others' needs, and a higher degree of flexibility, which combine to make some of the most likable people you will ever meet.

If you recognize these signs in yourself or those you love, know you are not alone, and it is OK to ask for and accept help.

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Will Curtis is a writer and associate editor for YourTango. He's been featured on the Good Men Project and taught English abroad for ten years.