Will Unfriending Your Ex Help You Move On?

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Will Unfriending Your Ex Help You Move On? [EXPERT]
Facebook can keep you from truly moving forward with your life after a breakup.

It used to be that when you broke up with someone you probably never had to see them again. You would each go your separate ways and live separate lives. There would be those people who became friends with their ex's, but they were the exception not the rule. So time would pass and you would heal from the breakup, and eventually move forward by finding a new and more satisfying relationship. Now there is Facebook.

Facebook provides us a way to peek into the lives of people who are beyond our everyday. It is called "Facebook stalking" or "creeping." You might have five minutes in the middle of your day, pull up Facebook and peruse the status updates of your friends. If you are still friends with your ex you may get a surprise while you are scrolling through the news feed.

The guy who never changed his relationship status in the three years you were together, has now noted that he is in a relationship on his profile and has posted pictures of his new girlfriend. You then may go to his page and start poking around, looking for more info on this woman. You may even get the idea that he has known her for a longer time than you have been broken up. So, what do you do now? You might find yourself checking his page every day or trying to find out more information on his new girlfriend. As long as you are being obsessive about his life, you have stopped living yours and all of the healing you managed to do has disintegrated. How A Kiss Can Save Your Relationship

Although you do not purposely stalk his profile, you will continue to get little reminders on your news feed of what he is doing. Maybe he is not dating anyone, but those little updates that he went to a ball game with his buddies or is at a family event will still keep him at the center of your mind. While he remains at the forefront of your thoughts, you will not be able to move beyond your previous relationship and will not be able to move toward a new one.

Time and distance are the keys to moving on. When someone has been in your life for a long time, you get used to them and it takes a while to really engage in a life without them. If you continue to get updates on his life, there is not chance at getting time or distance to move beyond him. How To Avoid Language That Tears You Down

More breakup advice from YourTango:

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Kate Evans

Counselor/Therapist

In my practice I help women rediscover their inner strength and overcome the fears and sadness that can come with forgetting to care for youself in addition to everyone else.

I'm looking forward to helping you. Give me a call for a free 30-minute phone consultation.

Location: St Charles, IL
Credentials: LCPC
Specialties: Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Empowering Women, Sexuality
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