While masturbation is a valuable and needed part of a healthy sexuality and sex life, it's often the silent party of an individual's sexuality — the part people are often ashamed of. So, I am here to break down some masturbation myths for you. It's too bad that our society encourages shame and guilt about masturbation. However, despite the hush-hush attitude most of us have adopted about the subject, most men do masturbate and will acknowledge it openly amongst their male peers.
When it comes to masturbation, women are different. A significantly larger portion of women either don't masturbate or deny it. Well, ladies, here is some information about why masturbation may be good not only for you, but also for your relationships. Here are four reasons why you should masturbate.
1. Masturbation helps us get to know our bodies and our minds. By masturbating, we learn about what turns us on. Mentally, we can tune in to our fantasies to understand the types of things that turn us on during masturbation. While masturbating, do we fantasize about being dominated or being watched? These are clues which help us understand what makes us tick, and in turn, we can begin to understand how to get our needs met by a partner.
Individuals who are having issues with arousal or orgasm can benefit greatly from masturbation and self love, getting to know your body techniques. Ladies, if you are having trouble masturbating, I also suggest experimenting with some toys. Using a vibrator, for example, is a common way for women to learn to achieve orgasm. Investing in a vibrator may be something you want to add into your sexual repertoire. Getting familiar with your body through the use of a vibrator is also a good way to gauge what you like, and can be a fun and exciting thing to introduce to partner sex, as well.
2. Masturbation has health benefits. Masturbation can relieve tension and stress and can help with the inability to sleep. There is evidence that the chemicals released during orgasm can heal depression. Also, there is a study that suggests that women who masturbate are more likely to be concerned with their sexual health and visit the gynecologist more often. I'm not sure if this last one is altogether true, but I can see the correlation since women who masturbate may be more in-tune with their bodies, and thus, visit the gynecologist more often.
3. Indulging in yourself can make you a sexier person. The concept being that a sexually active woman need not masturbate is actually a fallacy. Sex with a partner is great and masturbation is great, too. Why deprive yourself of one because you have the other? It just doesn't make sense. Would you deprive yourself of cake just because you had ice cream? Nope, I didn't think so. In Italy, they eat pizza before they eat pasta. Get my drift? A little indulgence in developing your sexual repertoire will make you a sexier person all around too.
4. Mutual masturbation in partner sex play is great. Mutual masturbation takes the focus away from the need to please each other and can help couples recognize the value of self-pleasure and self-care within a relationship. Not to mention, it helps us get to know each other just a little bit better. Knowing what you like and how to please yourself will make you a better lover, but can be a turn on to a partner, as well. Masturbation is also a great way to avoid risk or worry about pregnancies and STDs.
So, go ahead and get to know yourself a little better! Ditch your clothes, take a bath, look at yourself naked in the mirror, put on something sexy and/or just go ahead and touch yourself. You'll be glad you did.
To get more satisfaction out of your relationships and sex life
visit Moushumi Ghose, Sex Therapist in Los Angeles.