Teen Explains Her Parents' Rules She Thought Were Normal Growing Up But Now Thinks Are 'Toxic' — Viewers Disagree
Are these really that bad?
TikTok Every family has a thing or two that, had they known better, they would have done better in the past. What might be seen as normal in one family, might be viewed as complete and total dysfunction in another.
A woman whose TikTok profile is called ‘Work chronicles’ recently shared a video where she listed some of the rules her parents placed on her as a child. Back then, she said she thought they were perfectly normal, but as she talked to friends, she now sees them as “toxic.”
She has grown up to realize her parents may have been 'toxic,' but TikTok viewers disagree.
In the posted video, the woman first said that up until she was a sophomore in high school, her parents made her walk around the block for twenty minutes. According to her, they timed her to make sure she was really taking a long stroll.
Next, the young woman told viewers, “My parents religiously stalk Life 360. They check the speed that I’m going when I’m driving and stuff to make sure I’m okay. But really, they just want to check if I’m speeding. And every time I’m going too fast, my mom will call me while I’m driving and tell me to slow down.”
Her next concern was that her mother and father made sure her phone was not in the room with her while she slept. She said that they had a “designated location” it had to be placed downstairs before she went to bed.
Her parents enforced a strict routine, vetted people she intended to visit, and went against doctors’ advice.
Her parents required her to create and hourly schedule to follow during school breaks. It needed to be approved by them and included a time she had to wake up and a bedtime. She explained that they wanted her to have a routine and they needed to be aware of her location.
Also, whenever she decided to hang out with friends, the young lady claims that her parents would require confirmation from that friend’s parents so they were always in the know about where their daughter was and what she was doing. She thinks it was due to a lack of trust in her.
There was a time when a doctor recommended therapy for her and her siblings and instead of going to the one that was recommended, her mom found private therapists that she preferred. Apparently, she found them on a Catholic website and selected them in accordance with her preferences. The woman says that therapy was over within ten weeks.
Her parents were deeply invested in her success in school, requiring above-average grades and constant communication.
When she and her siblings started attending a private school, she says her parents would not allow them to get grades lower than a ‘C+’ and threatened to move them back to public school if they did. Of course, her parents monitored the grades regularly to make sure the kids were adhering to the rules.
Lastly, she said that her parents wanted to be included in all email correspondence to teachers. She alleged, “One day, when they thought they weren’t cc’d on an email, they got so p-ssed, they reached out to the teacher and said we need everything and it led to disaster.”
What seemed like toxicity to her, was overwhelmingly viewed as ‘good parenting’ by others who considered her complaints.
Many were confused by her labeling the behavior of her parents as “toxic”. To them, although it was super rigid or even strict, it was normal parenting that included supervision and discipline.
Parents around the world make their children get outside for fresh air and movement each day. And when our kids start driving, it’s our job to make sure they are following the rules of the road and staying safe.
Confiscating phones at night is not out of the ordinary either. Growing kids and teens need 8-10 hours of sleep at a minimum and a phone can definitely prevent that.
As far as keeping her on a schedule during breaks from school, the parents may have been aware of the many benefits of having structure for teens. It keeps them on track and organized, inspires discipline, helps to reach goals, and can prevent feelings of anxiety. Scheduling your children’s days can keep them engaged and keep worries at bay.
That being said, context matters and it's not for anyone else to judge whether or not this woman's parents enforced their strict rules in a toxic way.
The rules are, without a doubt, extensive and maybe even a little too far at times — after all, your kids need you to trust them and giving them a longer leash is important for personal development. But, for parents on TikTok, this woman's childhood rules seem to be something they admire or maybe even want to enforce themselves! Perhaps their kids will be the final judges with regard to whether or not these rules were toxic after all.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.