Parents Ask Married Daughter To Let Her 600-Pound Brother Move In With Her Because She Has 'A Bigger House’
She told her mother that even if her dad died, she would not help with her obese brother's care.
txking / Shutterstock, Liza Summer / Pexels It’s crazy how two kids who grow up in the same household can end up living totally different lives. The parenting style used sets that stage for your child to grow up to be an overachiever or a lackadaisical person who will forever be dependent on you.
One woman shared her frustrations with her brother ‘Teddy’ in a story posted to the subreddit, AITA (Am-I-The-A—hole). There, she gave readers her estranged sibling’s back story and detailed the request her parents had made on his behalf.
Her parents have constantly coddled her now-overweight brother and now they expect her to do the same.
Teddy was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and stopped breathing for three minutes. She believes that caused her parents to show him favoritism.
As children, the woman and her brother were treated very differently, according to her. Teddy was handled with kid gloves and given everything he wanted. The Redditor shared, “I had to put up with Teddy's tantrums, abuse, fits and bad behavior. If I touched a single hair on his head, I got punished while Teddy got away with whatever he did.”
According to her, the situation escalated because her parents continued to place her brother’s excessive needs above hers and she moved out of her parent’s home at 15 to reside with relatives. At 35, years old, the separated sibling has “limited” contact with her parents and Teddy, who is now 26 years of age.
“When he was 18, he decided he wanted to be a competitive eater which turned into just eating. Teddy now weighs almost 600lbs,” she said.
Because of the pounds Teddy piled on, he is unable to work and lives with his parents who take care of all his needs. The young man has to be cared for 24 hours a day and his mom and dad are unable to leave the home.
To demonstrate just how crazy committed to Teddy her parents are, the woman said, “They weren't present at my wedding, only see the grandkids if I bring them around and all family events like dinners have to held at their house cause it’s hard to move Teddy.”
Teddy recently fell and landed in the hospital. Despite their lack of closeness, his sister and her husband visited him.
While at the hospital, the woman says her parents complained about many things including the insufficient amount of food the man was being fed, the size of his wheelchair, and any mention of their son’s obvious weight problem.
Her mother and father took the time to pull the poster and her husband aside and ask for money to help with caring for Teddy. They said that they were running out of money and had to access funds they had saved for retirement.
In addition to the financial favor, the enabling parents wanted their daughter to take Teddy in after he was released from the hospital. She quoted them as saying, “We can get a break ‘cause we have to care for him all year round while you just visit."
The full-time mother and her husband emphatically said ‘no’ to the requests, citing their busy schedule that included their own kids’ sports and dance activities.
The rejection was met with immediate backlash from the woman’s parents who thought she should be grateful to have a brother since he almost died during birth. Even after leaving the hospital, her mother continued to berate her over the phone and demand money.
But the big sister stood her ground, letting her mom know that there was no way she would ever take care of Teddy. She told her that the man was not her problem and that she would not take responsibility for him.
Her mom cussed her out and hung up, ceasing contact. While the woman harbors a lot of resentment for her brother making her life “a living hell”, she wonders if she was wrong for refusing to pay for his care and move him into her home.
Readers overwhelmingly decided that the Redditor was 'not the a—hole.'
Many people thought the entire family needed therapy to deal with their issues while others surmised that Teddy would not be around much longer if he continued his self-destructive lifestyle. Everyone agreed that his parents were part of the problem.
Parents don’t set out to enable their children’s bad behavior. They simply confuse enablement with support. Support empowers children to move toward stability and independence. Enabling comes from the need to protect our kids from pain, failure, fear, hard work, or embarrassment and many parents overdo it.
But it is totally correct that the family needs healing. Parents are just people, and they make mistakes like the rest of the world. Acknowledging and working to fix what has happened in the family to create such toxicity is absolutely necessary if the family wants to have healthy, happy, functional relationships with one another.
As far as her brother is concerned, at 26 years old, he might still have his whole life ahead of him. Psychological treatments are successful in 64.4% of patients that suffer from an eating disorder.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.