Woman Says Her Date Venmo’d Her Money After Canceling Their Plans Last Minute — 'Compensate Me For Wasting My Time'
The man decided she deserved to be paid for the inconvenience.
With the rise of the internet and dating apps, stories of ghosting and breadcrumbing have become more and more common. As a matter of fact, over 25% of adults reported being ghosted in 2019, and we can only imagine that number has increased exponentially. Millennials have it even worse with 80% of them having been ghosted.
One woman was shocked to find that a man who had stood her up for a date not only called, but when out of his way to make amends for the blunder. A TikToker named Emma posted a video to share her unexpected experience in the dating pool.
Her date compensated her for wasting her time by canceling a date.
Women often joke that the dating pool is filled with urine, but Emma found out that chivalry might be alive and well. She was scheduled to have breakfast with a man, but when she woke up, he had texted during the night to let her know he would be unable to make it. According to Emma, he said, “Hey, I totally forgot about our plans. I’m really drunk and don’t think I’m going to be able to make it tomorrow.”
She was fine with the cancellation and grateful that he had taken the time to give her a heads-up instead of simply no-showing. She decided to sleep in but was curious when he asked for her Venmo user ID later in the day and sent her money to make up for changing plans and missing the date.
The thoughtful gesture made Emma believe that perhaps the tide is turning in this ghosting epidemic. She ended the video by saying, “The work we’re doing is making a difference, ladies” and titled it, “Normalize financially compensating me for wasting my time.”
And even though her date wasted her time, he might still be a more eligible and desirable match than someone who ditches a date last minute without explanation — never mind compensation.
Ghosting people results from the inability to communicate openly and honestly about your disinterest. People also fear the reaction they might receive from the person they are rejecting, whether it is warranted or not. There are also those people who don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings and mistakenly believe that simply falling off the face of the earth will do less damage.
What many don’t consider are the effects that being tossed aside can have on a person’s mental and emotional wellbeing. In the short term, there are feelings of rejection and the blow to the victim’s self-esteem. They are confused, hurt, and left wondering if there is something they did to cause someone to treat them so poorly.
The long-term impact of being callously ghosted is a distrust in others, self-blame, feelings of low self-worth, and pessimism. People who are the victims of repeated ghosting become bitter and those feelings of rejection spill over into future relationships.
But the negative effect of ghosting is not limited to ‘ghostees.’ The perpetrators can be left guilt-ridden and remorseful, or they can easily become desensitized serial ghosters, using it as their go-to way of ending relationships they want to get out of.
Ghosting is convenient and easy, but as time goes on, it will inevitably increase the ‘fly-by-night’ essence of today’s relationships. If people could just communicate their feelings and provide others with the closure they need to move forward, the world would be a much better and less bitter place.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.