4 Reasons Why People Still Get Married
Only you can decide what's right for you, but here's why marriage might be worth it.
You're born for connection. But in modern times, you don't necessarily have to marry in order to live a long, fulfilling life with someone you deeply love.
Healthy relationships can be both challenging and rewarding. And like anything in your life that you want to grow, marriage requires planting seeds for growth and nurturing attention.
Why do people still get married?
Especially despite the fact that, even with divorce rates declining, so many marriages in the U.S. still end in divorce?
In addition to simply being in love and wanting to start a family, there are a variety of reasons people still choose to get married despire the risks, including reasons related to emotional and psychological well-being, health benefits, financial benefits, and sex.
Here are 4 reasons why people get married that may or may not be right for you.
1. Emotional and psychological benefits
In the 2004 movie "Shall We Dance," despite the fact that she believes her husband may be having an affair, Susan Sarandon's character offers the following reason she believes people get married.
"Because we need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet, I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all the time, every day. You're saying, 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness.'"
According to a Pew Research survey, love and companionship are still the two biggest reasons why people get married today, while the act of making a formal commitment comes in third.
There is something incredibly healing about feeling seen and knowing that your life matters to someone else. This feeling is possible in any marriage, and if the feeling of being seen has decreased in your marriage, with intention and commitment, it can be re-created.
2. Health benefits
No, this isn't about being on each other's insurance policies, although that can definitely be a plus (see financial benefits below). Research consistently indicates that marriage positively impacts your health. Married people tend to live longer, are less likely to have a heart attack or stroke, survive major surgery more often, and are less likely to experience major episodes of depression.
Although it certainly can be stressful when you are struggling in your marriage, the long-term health benefits may well outweigh the challenges.
3. Financial benefits
The Pew Research survey found that about 13% of married couples tied the knot for financial reasons. Some financial benefits of marriage include the following:
- Married couples filing jointly can save on their taxes.
- Spouses can gift each other money with limited tax consequences.
- You may be eligible for Medicare and veterans' benefits based on your spouse's eligibility, even if you aren't eligible on your own.
- Married couples have Social Security options that aren't available to singles.
- Health and auto insurance rates are often lower for married couples.
Most importantly, if your marriage is already struggling financially, couples’ therapy is significantly less expensive than getting divorced!
4. Sexual benefits
Yes, sex! Despite the myth that single people have more sex than married people, research shows that married people have more frequent sex than singles.
And while the novelty of sex with the same person over time decreases, aspects of quality versus quantity, no fear about STIs, and safety of familiarity to try new things can be positive attributes of marital sex life. If your sex life has become complacent, you can learn how to create safety to discuss this topic.
In Imago Therapy, there is a theory that "We are wounded in relationship, and we are healed in a relationship." Marriage provides significant opportunities to do just that.
The idea that marriage can help heal unfinished business from childhood is profound and possible.
While marriage may not be easy, there are countless benefits to every area of your life. Marriage is an ancient institution that continues to evolve and change. However, if you are considering saying, "I do,” the foundational benefits will be your greatest wedding gift.
Susie Kamen, LMSW, CIRT, SILC, is a certified Imago relationship therapist and a Robbins-Madanes strategic intervention life coach.