6 Tiny Habits That Will Instantly Make Your Relationship Stronger
Make a deposit into your partner's Love Bank Account.
Baconstudiony | Shutterstock When you do something nice for your partner, it’s like making a “deposit” into their Love Bank Account. When something negative happens in the relationship you are making a “withdrawal” from the account.
You get the idea.
It’s the small things we do daily in a relationship that truly make a difference in strengthening our connection and bond with one another. When you are making deposits every day in the “Love” account, it is almost like having an insurance policy for a fail-proof relationship that stands the test of time.
Here are 6 tiny habits that will instantly make your relationship stronger:
1. Love daily
One of our morning rituals is making the bed and having coffee together. One of us makes the coffee and the other will make the bed. Sometimes we make the bed together.
Small gestures of serving one another make a huge impact on your affinity for one another. Giving cards and handwritten notes is another way to show your love for one another.
2. Celebrate your love often
We celebrate the anniversary of the day we met every month. We acknowledge the commitment to our relationship in various ways but always on the 14th of every month. Even if we are apart, we will send a note in the mail, flowers, or a small gift recognizing our special day. We usually go out to dinner or have a romantic dinner at home.
3. Speak your partner's love language
In Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages he shares how we can improve our relationships by discovering our love language and using that to connect to others. Take the test with your partner to discover your love languages.
If you do not have the same love language, we recommend getting the book to learn how to speak your partner's love language fluently. Be sure to do one thing a day that speaks to your partner’s primary love language.
4. Get physical
Even if your primary love language isn’t physical touch, part of a romantic relationship is getting physical. Being intimate and enjoying sex with your partner connects you emotionally and physically which is imperative for a great relationship.
Quite a few studies show other benefits to having frequent sex, including boosting your immune system, lowering blood pressure, helping your heart, and improving relaxation. Sex does the body and mind good! Maybe try a 30-day intimacy challenge. It can’t hurt and the payoffs are enormous!
5. Spiritually connnect
We highly recommend having and deepening a spiritual connection with one other so that you continue to grow together. This is something for you to define as a couple based on your spiritual beliefs.
For us, part of our spiritual practice is going to Unity Church which honors all pathways to God or Spirit with an emphasis on inspiring people to live better lives. Marty gave me The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo which is filled with daily messages that he reads to me every morning. Every night we go to sleep listening to meditation.
We’ve deepened our spiritual practice in smaller but just as meaningful ways too. This includes smudging our home and ourselves regularly with white sage to clear any negative energy. We also love Affirmation and Angel Cards. We have numerous sets of them that we’ll randomly choose to pick a card for the day or use it to ask for guidance and clarity in various situations.
6. Greet each other
When Marty and I first moved in together, we both noticed a difference in how we greeted each other. One day when I returned home he was in the kitchen and I immediately went into my office to work. I didn’t even say hello.
Before moving in together that never would have happened. We were always so excited to see one another that we greeted each other with a passionate embrace and kiss. When we said goodbye the same would occur as if we might never see each other again.
Photo: Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock
So now we are very aware of this and make a conscious effort to give each other a heartfelt welcome and a see-you-later kiss.
What would your relationship look like if you were to implement a few (or all) of these things into your relationship? Do you think your “Love” account would be overflowing with more deposits or depleted from too many withdrawals? We know the former will win out every time and hope your Love Account is vibrant and prosperous!
Dana Lam and Martin Kupper are authors and co-founders of the Surprise Date Challenge. They are passionate about making an impact in people’s lives and helping couples be the happiest couple they know.