The Perfect Age To Get Married, According To Research
The sweet spot for marital bliss.
pixelshot | Canva Science is here to save the day... or at least help you make some crucial life decisions. Tying the knot is a big step and timing seems to be one of the people's biggest concerns. I mean, have you ever encountered one of those desperate girls who are out-husband-hunting just because the clock is ticking? It happens.
And before you get all judgy, can you blame them? Women are constantly told that their eggs have an expiration date and that all the “good” men will be gone if they wait too long to find one. Working together to find the best age to get married, math and science have come up with the “37 percent” rule.
According to this algorithm, the perfect age to get married is 26.
How does the national average compare to this? According to statistics, the median age for American women to get married is 28 years old and 30 years old for me.
There you have it. Now, you no longer have to fumble around wondering if it’s now or never. Getting hitched at 26 is ideal. The number comes from the Algorithms to Live By: The Computer Science of Human Decisions, which was written by journalist Brian Christian and cognitive scientist Tom Griffiths. According to their book, people make the best decisions after screening 37 percent of the options.
They use the example of screening job applicants and argue that after looking through 37 percent of the people who applied, it would make sense to choose a candidate who was qualified without looking any further. The authors of the study say that it’s at this point where the reviewers of the applicants have enough information to make a good choice, but not too much that they will get weighed down by indecision.
This duo goes even further, saying that this rule works for picking out a partner.
The age range during which people typically look for love is between 18-40 and the 37 percent mark is — you guessed it — 26. It’s after this, the quality of the options begins to go down.
However, many experts seem to agree that the late 20s is the sweet spot for getting married. Psychologist Wyatt Fisher says that the reason this time in your life is so ideal for settling down is because it is at the point at which you have already completed your education and started a career. Clinical social worker Kelsey Torgerson says it's crucial to at least wait until the human brain is fully developed to find a life mate, which isn't until age 25.
She says, “I believe it’s best to wait until this marker. It’s also important to experience stressors with your partner that you overcome, so if you have a high school sweetheart, you should see how you two handle college, long distance, studying abroad, or getting two jobs. You want to know that you have the conflict management strategies in place for a healthy, successful marriage down the road.”
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However, relationship therapist Weena Cullins, thinks the magic number is 28.
As she explains, “In my clinical experience, I’ve found that the best age to get married for women in the U.S. is 28. At age 28, my soon-to-be brides exhibit self-awareness and confidence in their choice of a mate. Most 28-year-olds have had the time to successfully explore who they are on a personal and professional level, discover the qualities they desire most in a life partner, and learn from mistakes they made in previous relationships. You’ve had time to get settled in a career, experience college, and graduate school if that’s your preferred path, or simply live independently before combining your life.”
And for men, Cullins thinks the magic number is 32: “Waiting until age 32 affords men an opportunity to get settled into a career and potentially pursue professional advancement before tying the knot. It also allows them to develop socially and emotionally through living on their own and dating. By 32, many men have spent enough time on the social scene to be able to make an informed decision about entering into married life. They also tend to have a sober perspective about having children and their role in co-parenting. This benefits the overall health of the relationship.”
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But if you're 25 and still single, don’t freak out.
Likewise, if you're 36 and still single, don’t lose hope. While this whole thing seems pretty legit when backed by science and math, there is still no sure way of knowing the secret age to have a successful marriage.
Statistics from the Pew Research Center show that fewer people are getting married than ever before. It’s all relative folks, but it still doesn’t hurt to have something on to base this wide and confusing world of love.
Shannon Ullman is a freelance writer and journalist and has worked as an editor for Healthline, Medical News Today, and Psych Central. Her writer bylines can be found on Health, Verywell Fit, Insider Inc., Mind Body Green, and Everyday Health.