9 Little Agreements Happy Couples Make That Create Blissful Marriages
Tiny promises that reap a big reward.
GaudiLab / Shutterstock The zeal that wedding planning brings can overshadow reality in many ways. Imagining that you and your better half might not have a fairy tale happily ever after is tough.
However, sharing your life with someone else involves challenges, especially if you lack experience handling relationships. The key ingredients for a good foundation in marriage include hard work, love, and commitment. Respect is also necessary to create a successful and happy relationship.
But expecting a marriage to prevail solely based on respect and love is unrealistic. To make the marriage work, small, mutual agreements set forth by husband and wife can create wonders.
Here are 9 small-but-vital agreements to practice daily to build a successful marriage.
1. Build a loving commitment.
Love involves the decision to stay committed to another person. It is more than the fleeting emotions portrayed on television and in romance novels. Feelings are never constant and, truthfully, may come and go.
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Choosing to stay committed often lasts forever, and defines a key ingredient to a healthy marriage. Marriage involves the choice to stay by your partner's side throughout the highs and lows of life, the trials and tribulations, along with the good and bad.
Whenever things go well, commitments are easier. However, real love is built by staying committed even when life takes a difficult turn. Traditional vows don't say "in sickness and in health" for no reason.
2. Maintain faithful intimacy.
Staying faithful in a marriage involves more than just vows. It involves our mind, eyes, soul, and heart. Whenever we allow our minds to fantasize about another person or offer them emotional intimacy, we sacrifice faithfulness to our spouse.
You can easily safeguard your desires daily by devoting yourself completely to your partner. Faithfulness involves an awareness of the consequences and self-discipline.
Always refuse to put anything in front of your body, heart, and eyes that compromises your faithfulness. Instead, focus on staying true to your spouse no matter what issues arise.
3. Practice and honor humility.
Weaknesses occur in all relationships and are often revealed more prominently than anything else. The main building block for a healthier marriage involves the ability to admit that you are not completely perfect.
You are human and prone to make mistakes that require forgiveness. Holding an attitude of superiority over your partner will bring resentment, preventing your relationship from moving forward.
When you are struggling with this, grab a pencil and write down the three things that your partner does well. Completing this exercise helps you stay humble and appreciate your person. Make a habit of repeating it often.
4. Walk in patience and forgiveness.
No one is perfect. So, forgiveness and patience are essential in marriage.
Successful partners must learn to show unending forgiveness and patience. They also must make it a point to admit their faults often, never expect their partner to be perfect, and refrain from bringing up past mistakes that hold their partner hostage.
Never seek revenge whenever mistakes occur. If you hold onto your past hurt from the partner, it is better to forgive them as it will help set your relationship and heart free. After all, holding on to resentment instead of forgiving isn't healthy for anyone.
5. Spend quality time together.
Relationships involve investing time. A successful relationship involves intentional quality time together. In order for this to happen, you must make the time.
The relationship with your spouse should become the deepest and most intimate relationship you must have. Consequently, it involves a greater investment than any other relationship.
Always make sure to set aside time daily for your spouse. A set date night won't hurt, either!
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6. Extend trust and transparency.
Trust and transparency become the main foundation for a successful marriage. However, unlike most of the other important aspects in this list, building trust is a process. You become committed, selfless, and even patient in the situation. But trust takes time to build.
You must prove that you are who you say you are, and you will do whatever you promise you would do. If you are working to restore trust in your relationship, then you must work even harder.
Being honest and truthful with one another is a small but powerful agreement couples can make to ensure their marriage goes the distance.
7. Have consistent communication.
To create a blissful marriage, both partners should communicate more. It's vital to discuss schedules, kids, utility bills, grocery lists, and more. In addition, there should be communication of dreams, hopes, anxieties, and fears.
They are not just discussing changes in their kids' lives; these discussions involve changes in their souls and hearts.
This aspect cannot get overlooked since honesty and outright communication becomes the foundation for several other things on our list — patience, commitment, and trust — to name a few.
8. Operate in selflessness.
Little consideration is given to the idea that at the root of marriage failure is selfishness. Studies blame the lack of commitment, finances, incompatibility, or infidelity; however, the main cause of all of these issues, for several reasons, is selfishness.
A selfish person is committed only to themselves and their success. Partners that show patience and selflessness are dedicated to becoming a better spouse. Sharing your dreams, hopes, and life with your partner helps you start living a great marriage together.
9. Always be a good listener.
You should always talk. Partners dread this sentence; however, you should be able to start and participate in healthy conversation.
Keep in mind that hearing and listening are not the same. Keep an open mind and listening ear while your partner speaks, and try paraphrasing and reassuring them. Listening is the main key to living happily ever after in your relationship.
Take the time and invest in accomplishing small marriage agreements. Doing so is well worth it if you wish to have a blissful married life.
A healthy and successful marriage is more valuable than other temporal things which we are chasing with our lives. When pursued with fidelity, the benefits are long-lasting.
Sidhharrth Kumaar is an astro-numerologist and Founder of NumroVani. He couples his knowledge of modern sciences to solve real-world problems in the areas of mental well-being and relationship growth.