5 Days To Schedule With Your Partner Every Month To Make Sure Your Relationship Actually Lasts
Make time to reconnect.
Chermiti Mohamed / Pexels The longer you are in a relationship, the easier it is to take time with your partner for granted. It can be hard to maintain the same level of connection that you had at the beginning, when sparks were flying and all you wanted to do was be together.
There are definite benefits to the ease and comfort found in long-term relationships, yet it’s also important to keep your connection alive.
Here are 5 days to schedule with your partner every month to make sure your relationship lasts
1. A day for something new
Divya Robin is a licensed therapist, educator and “modern relationship advocate” who shares content designed to help people grow and connect in their relationships, both platonic and romantic.
She advises couples to schedule one day a month devoted to trying something new, fun, and out of your comfort zone.
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Dates are meant to harbor reconnection, especially when our work weeks can feel so busy and overwhelming. Instead of doing the same dinner and drinks routine you always seem to do, try to make time for an activity that neither of you has tried before.
2. A day for chores
While scheduling household chores doesn’t sound like the most romantic way to spend time together, doing so will help you feel on top of your game. It’s normal to let little things slip by unnoticed during the week — like laundry, yard work, or any form of deep cleaning.
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Getting tasks done that you might otherwise avoid will help you feel a sense of accomplishment, and doing them together makes it a little more fun. Plus, scheduling time to tackle these tasks lets you practice the acts of service side of the love languages.
3. A day for checking in
Robin suggests having one day to “check in with your intimacy,” which includes emotional, physical, and intellectual intimacy. Opening up and having vulnerable conversations can sometimes feel like labor because talking about your innermost feelings is hard work.
Yet the very act of having conversations about such intimate topics, like how you’re feeling about each other, helps reinforce your connection, creates a stronger bond, and makes you feel close.
4. A day to catch up
One important part of maintaining a successful relationship is not focusing all your attention on each other, all the time, and cultivating your own goals and interests.
Allowing yourself to have things that are just for you is a marker of a healthy, stable partnership.
By letting your partner know where you stand in terms of projects and goals that you have for yourself, you’re sharing what’s important to you. That way, they know just how to support you in whatever journey holds meaning for you.
5. A day to talk about issues you’ve been putting off
Having difficult conversations can feel triggering to many people: It’s easy to fall into a fight-or-flight response when it comes to opening up about the harder parts of a relationship.
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By planning out a particular day to talk about things you might be avoiding, you’re allowing yourself and your partner space to hold the challenges and grace to be vulnerable.
There's nothing wrong with feeling comfortable in a relationship, but it's important to stay connected as well.
Falling into patterns in relationships is understandable. The responsibilities of life can feel like they get in the way of simply spending quality time together, but with a little bit of effort, scheduling time for each other can become part of your routine.
It takes a certain amount of effort to break out of old habits. But once you do, you’ll feel inspired, excited, and closer than ever.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.