Why Cheating Is Absolutely Terrible For Your Health
Here's how the stress of cheating affects all the parties involved.
For one, most of us non-sociopaths would feel guilt, and guilt wears down the immune system as well as other biological systems in the body. I have had clients who have cheated which led to such a preoccupation with guilt that they lost jobs, businesses, and friends.
People who feel guilty tend to unconsciously punish themselves by sabotaging the things in their lives that are important to them.
I had one client who felt so guilty that to creatively cope with his guilt, he projected his feelings of guilt onto his wife and became paranoid about her being unfaithful. (The mind can work in very mysterious ways to cope with painful feelings). His wife left him because she was tired of being seen as a person who would be unfaithful when she had always been a faithful, honest wife.
His accusations ended the marriage. When he saw me after his wife filed for divorce, he began to realize how his feelings of guilt were behind these accusations and the eventual demise of his marriage.
Hiding things puts us in a constant state of stress. The fear of getting caught is intense — the same fear we may have had as a kid when we knew we would be severely disciplined if we got caught. This creates a high state of cortisol that leads to a myriad of possible health problems.
When a person feels trapped, the cortisol remains high and that can affect any or every organ system in one’s body. Cheating and extramarital affairs do lead to a person feeling trapped — trapped in their lie.
"If I keep it to myself, I have no integrity; if I tell my partner, they will leave me."
This kind of double bind can wreak havoc on our bodies. When there is a way out of stress, the body repairs. However, when a person feels stuck long-term in a no-win situation, it can lead to serious physical consequences.
Once you get caught (and you will if you continue the behavior), the humiliation, guilt, pain, and anxiety do more damage.
This leads to not only a downward spiral in health for the person who committed the infidelity but for every member of the family including young children, depending on whether the children are consciously aware of the discovery or not.
All family members pick up on the negative energy and it can affect everyone’s mental and physical health. This can lead to even more guilt for the person who cheated which leads us to where I began above.
The sooner this behavior is stopped, the better. If you or anyone you know is doing this behavior, confront that person (or yourself) and know that there is help on the way that could get that person out of the constant state of stress.
It’s a no-win situation. I know someone who has a lot of experience in these types of matters.
Yes, of course, that would be me. Believe it or not, I have about a 90 percent success rate in helping couples thrive after infidelity is discovered.
So, be a friend and confront that person and invite that person to get out of that quagmire called infidelity.
Todd Creager is a marriage and intimacy therapist, author, and speaker.