5 Things That Make Women Hate Men
Yes, there are a lot of women who have decided to write off the male gender. Here’s what makes that happen.
Ekateryna Zubal / Shutterstock "I hate men," my friend said as she sipped her coffee across from me. "I don’t think I could ever even see one as a person again."
I was not surprised. Like many women who dropped out of the dating scene, her experiences are filled with trauma, disgusting behavior, and people calling her entitled for it all. Eventually, she decided the juice wasn’t worth the squeeze.
Moreover, she took things a step further than a typical woman who just decides that dating is not for her. She actively started to hate men for all they put her through. It’s a common thing.
Ever wonder what makes a woman hate men? It’s mostly a reactionary issue. No one gets born, wakes up at random, and says, "I’ll hate these people here."
So, you might be wondering what’s with all the manhating. Here are the more common reasons why I’ve seen it happen.
Here are 5 things that make women hate men:
1. The misandrist in question had a really, really abusive partner or had a string of traumas related to men
Without a doubt, the most common reason for women to end up with an aversion to men is domestic violence. This is particularly true if they end up getting stuck in the cycle of dumping one abuser and then ending up in another bad relationship immediately after.
Being abused over a long period of time by multiple people of the same gender will eventually condition you to see all men as potential abusers.
At times, you might start viewing all of the people of that gender as your abuser. Some women even get resentful, wondering why no one helped them.
What makes this worse is the way "Nice Guys" tend to treat women who are DV survivors. Sadly, I have seen a lot of this in the comments of my other stories, which just proves how common it is. This occurs when men smirk smugly and say, "That’s what you get for chasing the wrong men."
Real talk, when this is how domestic violence is treated by men, how can you blame women for refusing to date them? Moreover, how can you blame women for hating men after being blamed for the actions of someone else?
Personally, I can understand wanting to walk away from men if all you’ve experienced is pain.
RELATED: Misandry And The Modern Woman: How Hatred Can Heal A Lifetime Of Misogyny
2. Other women watched others suffer as a result of the men in their lives
A good friend of mine low-key hates men because of what she saw in her home. Her mother ended up having two sons and a daughter with a husband who refused to work, didn’t help out in the house, and put her down on a daily basis.
This friend of mine watched her mother die an early death. She killed herself when my friend turned 18. The father walked off and left her to take care of her younger brother, who eventually ended up in jail for assault.
Since then, she associates men with what her father did.
She’s never had a date, never even wanted to bother with a boyfriend. I’ve never quite seen a woman who avoids men as much as she does.
3. A lot of women learn to hate men because of the way men talk about them
You know, too many men don’t realize the damage they do to women when they talk about women negatively.
When women hear that their value "hits the wall at 30," and that they are "wasting their lives on a career," it’s not attractive. It’s quite repulsive.
Every girl has had a moment where she gets into an argument about a guy who categorically disparages them. Every time women hear men talking about them like they’re sociopathic sex toys, they lose a little more faith in men.
Usually, this alone doesn’t stop girls from dating guys or even adoring them. However, if they hear it too much, they start losing respect for men altogether.
In extreme cases, women end up resenting men and assuming they all hate women.
4. Women often learn to hate men when they start noticing men correcting them on things they should keep their mouths shut about
True story — I had a guy tell me that "period pains aren’t that bad." I kinda looked at him as if lobsters were crawling out of his ears, then asked him when his last period was. He sputtered and said something about me being sensitive.
This is a phenomenon that most women have experienced on a fairly regular basis. For reasons beyond my understanding, men seem to want to minimize women’s issues or even tell us what we’re experiencing.
Sometimes, guys do this without realizing they do it. Other times, they do it just to get attention or to shut down complaints women have about the male gender. When this happens, they don’t even want to listen when we correct them.
There is something uniquely infuriating about seeing people derail conversations, discredit you, downplay your valid concerns, and downright insult you over things you know to be true. That’s why gaslighting is abuse, you know.
Unsurprisingly, women who don’t feel like men listen to them or care what they have to say often start to resent the entire gender.
It might not be fair because "not all men," but it is what it is since most men don’t call others out on it.
5. Some women feel like men have exploited them
We often talk about how men feel like women only use them for money, but this is definitely a two-way street.
Women often feel like men use them, too. Most of the time, it happens when a guy swears he wants to date a girl and then ghosts the moment they have sex.
If it happens once, okay, he’s a jerk. Twice? Okay, you’re starting to get leery. A ton of times where you made a point of trying to vet guys? Well, eventually girls will start to feel like all men want is to use them — be it for sex, labor, or a place to stay.
There’s a certain thing that happens when a person stops believing that the opposite sex can have good intentions for them.
At first, attraction dies. Then, any interest in interacting with them falls apart. Eventually, it just turns into a low-simmering hate that gives way to full indifference.
At the end of the day, everyone needs to take a closer look at the messages they send out into the world. You never know how people will react to the things you do and how one bad interaction can be the breaking point for the person you talk to.
It is not up to us to tell people who have been abused by a certain gender to continue to pretend everything is okay.
It’s also not up to us to tell women, who are regularly oppressed in a system geared against them, to continue to pursue relationships with men if they feel strongly against it.
My advice to ladies? If you don’t like men, don’t date them. It will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure.
But please, for your own sake, it may be time to do some self-care and get some therapy for all you’ve been through. You owe yourself.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.