Woman 'Dreading' The Holidays Is A Reminder That Your Family Drama Is Someone Else's Dream
The stress of family holidays might be exactly what someone else wishes they had.
Nicole Michelou / Pexels A woman wrote to the subreddit r/AskWomenOver30, seeking guidance on how to spend her holidays.
She reached out to the community to ask if anyone had spent Thanksgiving or Christmas by themselves, wondering if they had ideas on how to pass the days in a meaningful way.
The woman’s holiday dread is a reminder that your family drama might be someone else’s dream scenario.
“I’m single with no children and estranged from my family,” the woman wrote. “I’ve spent several holidays alone and it has been lonely.”
Photo: cottonbro studio / Pexels
The woman shared that she was “dreading” having to spend the upcoming holiday season alone.
It’s not at all uncommon for social isolation, depression, and anxiety to heighten this time of year, especially for those who can’t be with their families of origin, those who don’t want to be, or those who lack chosen family to celebrate with.
Photo: Anastasia Shuraeva / Pexels
Despite all festive intentions, not everyone’s holidays are full of warm family memories or a sense of community.
It’s valuable to note that holidays can invoke stress and anxiety, even if you like your family and choose to spend that time together. It’s entirely valid to feel annoyed at the relatives who ask you the same questions about your dating life, over and over. It’s also valid to slip away during family chaos and take a moment to yourself to regroup.
Being in a family system brings endless complications, emotional tensions, and well-worn patterns you might wish away. Maybe your mom always burns the turkey; maybe your aunt always forgets to bake your favorite kind of pie. But there’s a difference between the annoyance of any parental nagging to make enough gravy for everyone, and family behavior that’s truly toxic.
For people with toxic families, it’s important to remember that your boundaries are still your boundaries, despite the tinsel and sugar cookies that abound.
You don’t have to cross your own boundaries or put yourself in a situation where you feel uncomfortable or unsafe just because it’s Christmas. Your family might try to convince you otherwise; they might call on the holidays as a reason to overstep your delineations, but you’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to protect yourself, just like any other day.
The people who don’t have families to be fed up with might crave the holiday ups and downs you roll your eyes at.
There are certainly people who enjoy spending holidays alone, yet there are also people who want a togetherness they can’t access, like this particular woman. Reddit came through for her, as many other women shared various ideas on how she could care for herself on Christmas.
Photo: Huynh Van / Pexels
Some suggested planning an epic self-care day and doing whatever feels good to her on that day. Others said making their own traditions felt resonant, like going to the movies and eating their favorite meal, or volunteering at a community kitchen and visiting nursing homes, to spread some holiday cheer to others in need.
As we enter the upswing of holiday madness, take some deep breaths and ground yourself in the knowledge that your family’s irritating habits are just what some people wish they had.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers family issues, pop culture analysis, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.