Grandmother Asks If She's Wrong For Giving Her Granddaughter A DNA Test Without Parent Permission Because She Looks Different Than Her Siblings
The grandmother explained that everyone in their family is now upset with one another.
Ground Picture / Shutterstock A grandmother's decision is being defended after she admitted to helping her granddaughter find out the details of her true heritage.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AITA," she revealed that her teenage granddaughter looked different than the rest of her siblings, so she took matters into her own hands to figure out why.
A woman gave her granddaughter a DNA test without her parent's permission.
In her Reddit post, she explained that her 15-year-old granddaughter Lindsey, the middle child between all of her siblings, had a rather rough childhood.
Her other siblings and the rest of their family were dark-haired, while Lindsey had blonde curly hair. Her grandmother didn't think anything of these physical differences, chalking it up to the usual genetic traits.
"The issue came up when Lindsey told me her parents banned her from getting an ancestry test," her grandmother wrote. "I told my son and [daughter-in-law] that there was something fishy around her birth she needs to know. They denied it and told me to leave it alone."
Lindsey confided in her high school biology teacher about the physical traits she has versus the ones that her siblings and the rest of her family have. The grandmother learned that her granddaughter's biology teacher agreed that it was odd and even pointed out some other inconsistencies.
"She came to me distressed asking me to buy a DNA test since she needs to know. Long story short she is not her mother's kid. My son got someone else pregnant and her [biological] mom gave her up," her grandmother continued. Of course, this bombshell blew up their family, and Lindsey was rightfully upset at being lied to throughout her entire life and made to believe something that wasn't true.
However, her grandmother was also taking a lot of the heat, especially from Lindsey's parents who were no longer speaking to her.
The majority of people agreed that the grandmother wasn't in the wrong for helping her granddaughter.
"If you had done this simply to satisfy your own curiosity, then that would be different. But you were helping your granddaughter do something that she herself wanted to do. You're getting heat because her parents are mad at being found out, not because you're actually in the wrong," one Reddit user wrote.
Another user added, "Lindsey already knew. The only part she didn't know [was] which parent was hers biologically. Lindsey isn't dumb. She was going to find out, or she was going to continue to get lied to for 3 more years."
A third user agreed, "Your grandchild came to you for help and direction. Obviously, she already knew something was up and just wanted confirmation. Was it your place to do what you did? Absolutely — you are her family, her support."
Photo: Michal Collection / Canva Pro
The grandmother's decision to assist her granddaughter in discovering the truth about her identity came from a place of empathy and wanting to be transparent to her, especially when others in her life hadn't been. Lindsey, only a teenager, undoubtedly deserves sympathy due to the emotional turmoil and spending the majority of her life completely unaware of the secrets attached to her childhood.
Adolescence is already a challenging period of self-discovery, and learning that one's biological parentage differs from what was believed can intensify the struggles associated with discovering who you really are. Not only does Lindsey now have to grapple with the terms of her new reality, but the relationship with her parents is now fraught and mangled.
The grandmother's controversial act divided their family, but she was only trying to act out of compassion by helping Lindsey's desire to find out the truth. As the dust settles, hopefully, Lindsey, her grandmother, and her parents can have a conversation and begin to mend the trust that was broken.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.