Dating & Effective Communication: Hook & Keep A Man


Dating & Effective Communication: Learn How To Keep A Man
Real talk is important for couples AND singles.
Good communication starts on the first date: are you speaking clearly?

We all know that effective communication is important for couples, but don't forget to talk the talk when you're dating — you'll hook a man who is really worthwhile.

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place," said George Bernard Shaw. That's the truth, especially when you put on your pretty smile, a sexy red halter dress, and hope for the best on your first date with Mr. Really Sweet Black Mercedes Convertible (who actually calls his mom every week and treats you like a queen). You think everything is going well, and then you never hear from him again, or the next guy... or the next guy (and so forth).

More from YourTango: 3 Easy Steps Using Law Of Attraction Love Affirmations

What's going on here? Instead of placing the blame on the guys, consider that maybe the problem is how you communicate. Perhaps what you say doesn't always match how you feel. There are a lot of reasons a man might not call, but a big one that will have any good guy running in the opposite direction is a woman who's not a good communicator. Having effective communication means being authentic at all costs, even if it means losing a chance with him. He will know when you are not being real... and no good man wants to be with a faker.

Do you know how to get across your desires?

3 Steps to Communicating Effectively

1. Deep listening. You can enhance your communication style by actively paying attention to your date. What does this look like? Sometimes, it looks like you using your ears more than your mouth. That's one way to do it. Your ears aren't just to show off your big silver hoops. Earrings are a great accessory for one of your biggest communication assets, so you might as well dress them well and match your outfit while you are paying attention to that new sharply dressed man.

When you're in a conversation, sometimes less is more. If there is a silence over cocktails, you don't have to always fill up the space with a monologue. You can look in his eyes and connect with him. When it come to shiny earrings and listening, in my book, bigger is always better. Effective Communication In Relationships Starts With The First Date Conversation

2. Body language. How you hold yourself in conversations says a lot about your values and personality. Cross your legs or ankles, ladies, at least until you get to know each other. If you sit like a man, well, you will look like one wearing a dress and blue mascara.

Men, especially alpha males, like to take up a lot of space. Do you want to compete with a guy? I don't think so, unless you want to lose him faster than the speed of light. When it comes to love, it's not a competition (except with the other women who are chasing him!). If you overdramatize your movements in a manly way, you'll become a competitor. Don't do it. If you look like a lady, you will lure in the right kind of man by having effective communication with your body language.

3. Play BallEffective communication is one of the biggest elements to building the kinds of relationship you really want, and one of the biggest dangers to a healthy relationship is game-playing. You can have fun when you're getting to know a new man, but you don't want to confuse him. When he throws you the verbal communication ball, make sure to throw it back. If he asks you a question, answer honestly and don't be vague. Men don't want to have to read between the lines to figure out what you really mean.

For example, if he asks if you like ice cream, but you are lactose-intolerant and just looking at it makes you sick, you don't have to give him all the gory details of what happened to your tummy the last time. Simply tell him, "It's really not my favorite, but I do love sorbet!"

It doesn't matter how good your berry bomb lips look when speak, what really matters is how you communicate, and communication is not just your words. Having effective communication is the key to getting to know yourself, letting others see the real you, and, in the process, getting the man of your dreams. Want to know How To Get A Second Date In 3 EPIC Steps?

Effective communication will make not only your dating and love life EPIC, it will help you in all of your relationships. If you are looking to have more than just one date with a guy, or even a serious, monogamous relationhship, dating is the very best place to get to know yourself and practice your newly found effective communication skills. Put them into use now. When you meet a new guy, love yourself, look into his eyes, speak from your heart, and you will land that man who is perfect for you. But until then, be real and put yourself out there, and have plenty of fun along the way.

If you want to learn about how to become a man magnet, sign up for my EPIC Love newsletter where you will get the tools that will help you  embrace your inner EPIC Love. You will also learn in my free eBook How to Stop Pushing Men Away and Get The Love You Want. Being a receptive feminine free-flowing woman is what drives men wild. You will get secret tips, insight and specific tools to help you become the woman that every man desires.

More from YourTango: Must-Haves For The Most Romantic Sex Of Your Life

More effective communication advice: 

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dina Z Colada

Dating Coach

Get my FREE eBook "Stop Pushing Men Away & Get The EPIC Love You Want," when you sign up for my EPIC Love Newsletter. If you are ready to magentize men instead of making them run away don't wait another minute, get your copy today!

Dina on Facebook

Dina on Twitter

Location: Morgantown, WV
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Dina Z Colada:

19 Epic Dating Fails Guaranteed To Never Get You A Second Date


If you've been dating, I'm sure you can relate to some of these unbelievable dating fails. Some of these scenarios really happened, some of them, well... Which ones do you think are real? Some of the stuff that comes out of people’s mouths, especially from online dating, can be funny, weird, and totally out there. If you have ever been on the ... Read more

The Power Of Feng Shui: 4 Easy-Fixes To Heat Up Your Love Life


Feng Shui (pronounced Fung Schwei), is a way to add balance and harmony in your life, by keeping good energy flow in your environment. Feng Shui can be used outside of your home, but I want to talk about Feng Shui inside your home — especially in your love den and the very special love zone area of your bedroom. I like to work with the things that are ... Read more

3 Easy Steps Using Law Of Attraction Love Affirmations


If you want to attract love, a great way to start is by raising your vibration. There are 3 easy steps to get into your heart and away from your mind that will help you get the love you want. When you do this you will learn to step outside of the mind chatter and restructure your thought patterns from one of fear to one of love. How do you do this? Take ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Cooking Together

6 More Eco-Conscious Ideas For A Better World And A Better You

Here are six tips on how you can have sex more consciously and also be kind to the environment.

Family With 2 Young Kids

What Wise Parents Know About Raising Successful Children

What are we teaching our children when we focus on their achievements rather than their kindness?

Girl Decorates Easter Eggs

"Love is the bridge between you and everything" Rumi

Love is all around us, if we allow yourselves to see it.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no timeā€¦

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>