18 Ways To Beat Complacency In A Long-Term Relationship

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18 Ways To Beat Complacency In A Long-Term Relationship [EXPERT]
Couplehood a little stale? Shake it up with our experts' advice!

Is your long-term relationship feeling a little too ... long-term? Over time, it's only natural for couples to become quite comfortable with one another, but when things become too routine, too monotonous or too mundane, it's time to shake things up. According to our Irresistible You survey, 37% of YourTango readers polled agree that trying new things together is the best way to for couples to avoid becoming lazy or complacent in their relationships. Wanna know what our experts think you should do to beat complacency? Check out their suggestions below:

1. Look your partner in the eye. There is a yoga practice in which you look into your partner's eyes for three minutes without looking away. The eyes are the mirrors to the soul, and it's amazing how we cannot really look at or see each other. Once, I worked with a couple who had been married for thirty years, and they could not look into each others' eyes. It is surprising how deeply this action can reconnect you both. Donna Davidge


2. Get out of your environment. If it's only for a night or two, it's still great to get out of the town or city you live in and explore another setting together. If you have time to go to a farther-flung destination, this can be even better. Make sure it has the kind of activities that can help you connect with each other and not be distracted by the other people there. Remote laces in nature can help spark the intimacy you may have forgotten. Donna Davidge

3. Improve your looks. Dress nicely for each other more often, like when you were dating. Refresh your lip color or do something new with your hair. Your partner will notice and appreciate that you're spending time trying to look nice for him. Wendy Kay

4. Smell good for your partner. Always wear a nice fragrance and refresh it, but make sure it's one your partner likes because scents evoke feelings. Be aware of the garlic and onion you had for dinner and get rid of it, as bad breath and poor hygiene are obvious turn-offs. A clean and fresh smell, however, is a total turn-on. Wendy Kay

5. Do special things and pay attention to each other. Bring back the honeymoon phase with unexpected love and appreciation notes, cards, calls, texts or flowers. Start a couples day with date at a coffeehouse. Don't only discuss your chores and obligations, but have some good, fun conversation. Wendy Kay

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Wendy Kay


Wendy Kay, CPC

Life Strategy Coach, Author of

Mastering the Art of Feeling Good &

Publisher of the forthcoming App & Magazine, ACCESS Clarity

(847) 893-9552



Location: Waukesha, WI
Credentials: BS, CPC
Specialties: Empowering Women, Holistic Coach, Life Management, Life Transitions
Advanced Member

Dr. Lisa Firestone


Dr. Lisa Firestone PhD

Director of Research and Education

The Glendon Association



(805) 681-0415 x216

Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression, Family Support, Parenting, Stress Management
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