Being in-love is a feeling like no other. It's a yearning of the heart that affects your mind like a drug, whether your lover is right in front of you, or you're anticipating a call or your next encounter. You have an insatiable desire to just be engulfed by each other. Ahhh, and it feels so good.
You're actions are playful. Your conversations are clever, witty and flirtatious. You make sure that you look and smell good at all times. There's not much that s/he can do that you find unacceptable. These are the feelings that lead people to move in together, get married and have children.
So, what happened to those feelings of desire and acceptance in your relationship? You love your partner, of course, but it's become dry and routine. You may even find your lover irritating or boring most of the time now - or worse, disappointing. Maybe you've had thoughts that the two of you are growing apart.
Don't feel bad, it's bound to happen at times in long-term, committed relationships. It happens because of the day-to-day demands of living your lives together. In place of the wonderful acts of romance, you've been through much together over time. Paying bills, illness, in-laws, job dissatisfaction, house chores, and the fatigue and demands of the kids don't lean very well to romance.
When was the last time you treated your lover like your top priority? How often do you express how much you value, appreciate and admire him/her in a really heart-felt and meaningful way? Was it on a birthday, anniversary or holiday, when you actually took the time to remember the value of this special person in your life? Some may struggle to find it even then.
What about you? Does your relationship have the passion and pleasure that you once enjoyed? Most of us can say that so much has happened over time that's built up feelings of disappointment or resentment. After all, you're only human, but so is your partner.
We disappoint ourselves at times, so of course we have to realistically accept that no one else will go through life without disappointing us here and there as well. But somewhere along the way, we decided that it was unacceptable in our relationship, or worse, began to expect it with resentment.
Sure, maybe you do forgive, but you don't forget, do you? You may love, but you no longer feel the passion of the "in-love" drug.
Here's the good news:
If you truly have the desire to rekindle that spark toward your partner, it may not be as difficult as you think. And interestingly, the practice that will do it has the word passion in it. It's called compassion. And here's how you do it...
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