... without forcing him to have "the talk."
You've been dating a guy for a few weeks, things are going great and you want to know to where you stand. You want to make sure he isn't seeing anyone else, and if you're being honest, a small part of you wants to know when you can change your Facebook relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship."
Having the "Define The Relationship" (DTR) talk generally only succeeds in making him feel backed into a corner because he feels like you want something from him — in this case a commitment — that he hasn't offered up on his own. The Top 4 Reasons To Date A Bad Boy
The best way to get a man to commit isn't by pleading your case and making ultimatums, it's by being the kind of woman who doesn't need him. Suddenly, he'll want to be with you. Sound easier said than done? Not really! Check it out.
1. Associate yourself with fun.
Be the kind of girl he wants to hang out with, not someone who is only out to get something from him. Bring more to the table than you want to take away, make it your mission to make him laugh and he'll begin to associate you with his increased happiness.
When you chill out and stop worrying about where you stand, and instead focus on enjoying the time you have together, he'll start having so much fun that he wants to do it again, and again, and again — as long as you both shall live.
2. Stick to your standards.
If the guy you've been dating repeatedly flakes on plans, flirts with other women in your presence, or displays any other shady behavior, walk away. Some men like to push their boundaries and if they see that you'll accept their subpar treatment, there stops being any reason for them to treat you better. How To Rock The Hell Out Of Being Single
When you stand up and say "No more" all of a sudden he realizes what he's about to lose you, and he probably won't like it. It just might be the wake-up call that he needs.
3. Don't sleep with him.
This might sound like your grandma's advice, and we do feel a bit archaic writing this down ... but just hear us out. When you take the prospect of sex off the table, a guy is left with the choice to walk away or stick it out.
Where he would usually be all caught up with trying to get into your pants, now he is able to use that extra time and energy to get to know you as a person. Novel idea!
4. Hang-out with your male bffs.
When you tell the guy you're seeing that you can't go watch his hockey game because you're having lunch with your amazing, successful, single friend Tom, he's bound to not be too pleased about it. Study Reveals The 5 BIGGIES Men Look For When Online Dating
Most men don't believe that male and females can be friends, simply because they know straight up how men use friendships as a means to get laid. If he cares about you, he'll definitely be threatened and might be motivated to lock it down before Tom has a chance.
5. Do your thing.
Make it clear that you aren't holding your life up to wait for him, but do it with actions, not threats. If you've always wanted to move to London and finally got a great job offer, order your new passport.
On a smaller scale, maintain your other relationships and interests, and continue to do the things that matter to you. Keep your life full, exciting and fulfilling. It will become evident fast that he can either join in for the ride, or risk missing out on the adventure of a lifetime.
Got questions about online dating? Tune in next week when YourTango Experts presents Online Dating Bootcamp, a 14-day intensive about online dating featuring articles from your favorite YourTango Experts, including Joe Amoia, Laurie Davis, Rick Clemons, Larry Cappel, Julianne Canatrella and many more!
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