to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

The Most Powerful Words Ever Spoken

By . Posted on .

The Most Powerful Words Ever Spoken
"Do you need someone to talk to?"

My toughest audience yet: 50 San Francisco high school seniors two weeks short of graduation. They're a striking, multiracial mix of kids straight out of a Gap billboard--united by their desire to be somewhere else on this gorgeous spring day. Instead their teacher tells them they will spend the next hour with a representative of the state's anti stigma campaign, someone with a mental illness and the parent of a mentally ill son.

Get me out of here, I read on all their faces.

More from YourTango: Bouncing Back From Failure: 5 Keys To Emotional Resilency

When I begin by asking the group if anyone can define "mentally ill" the answers come in unison... Crazy. Nuts. Psycho.

I'm not insulted. My job is to take them a few notches deeper in their understanding. To give them enough knowledge about mental illness so they'll know how to get help if they should ever need it; or assist a friend who might be experiencing symptoms.

How best to begin?

I borrow a story from another speaker in our SOLVE campaign. Julie is a 20-something woman with bipolar disorder. She had stunned me--as she does even the most jaded listeners--the first time I heard her account of the night she went to the Bridge (The Golden Gate for non-locals). How she got to the railing fully intending to make the jump. Her depression had raged for weeks and she just wanted out. As Julie tells it, seconds before she was going to jump, along came a bridge cop.

"Do you need someone to talk to?" he asked. Such gentle, simple words...magical and breathtaking in their power. Julie tells how she surprised herself when she answered "yes," and talked nonstop as the policeman walked her to the bridge office.

Curiosity now fills the formerly blank faces in my audience.

I go on to tell them about my son Alex's diagnosis of schizophrenia at age 17...exactly their age.. the age when most schizophrenics experience their first psychotic symptoms.

I read to them from Alex's journal describing the day he was too paranoid to stay in class.

I sat down behind a dumpster, declared it my kingdom and began drawing soldiers. I drew an angel with eyes and tits. I drew knights to fight my holy war. I began to forget that I was back there cause I was scared of the world.

I explain some of what had led up to Alex's first psychotic break: weeks of pot smoking, months of disorientation, an inability to sleep, disordered (strange) thinking, incoherent speech and his withdrawal from everyone and everything he loved.

Their questions come in waves.

"Did your son smoking pot make him get schizophrenia?" (It helped trigger it.)

"How's he doing now?" (he stayed on medication for a few years and now he's finished college and working in his field...and, no, he doesn't smoke pot anymore, by choice) I tell them about PREP the new clinic at UCSF for treating early psychosis in young people to prevent schizophrenia from developing into a full blown disease.

More from YourTango: Hormones And Harems, The Secrets Of Female Friendships

One last question...

"My friend told me once he wanted to die...what should I have said?" (Listen first, let him know you care and then try to get help from a school counselor or another adult)

Recent Expert Posts
deep breath

Does a woman need a room of her own?

A woman requires a sweet spot hideout to release her inner core, the most erogenous zone of all.

Surf

Getting Physical: 5 Date Night Ideas For Athletic Couples

5 Date Night Ideas For Athletic Couples. Love getting physical…I mean doing physical activities.

Floor

Making Kale Sexy

Kale is Sexy. View kale as a green, libido boosting veggie, not just a hippy snack.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS