Hitting A Triple: Getting Your Ex Back In 3 Steps

Love, Heartbreak

If you want to reconcile, you must avoid common mistakes and take the essential steps.

You want him to want you, you need him to need you, you'd love him to love you: yes, trying to reconcile is like being inside a Cheap Trick song. But, learning how to make your ex want you back goes beyond some simple lyrics. Rather, it takes a lot of careful scrutinizing of your part, essentially making sure you do the right things instead of the wrong ones.

How To Make Your Ex Want You Back: The Mistakes To Avoid

Knowing how to make your ex want you back involves knowing what mistakes to avoid. These mistakes are commonly committed because people who are desperately wanting to reconcile erroneously focus on one thing: their needs. While their ex may need time, for example, they need to hear their ex's voice — so, they call and call and blow their chances of repairing their lost union.

Overall, the most common mistakes people commit when trying to learn how to make your ex want you back involves the following three errors:

  • Making contact too soon: After a breakup, it's only natural that one or both parties needs time to cool off. Calling too early (or making any kind of contact) can leave your partner annoyed, rather than reminiscent of the good times you've had.
  • Focusing on what your partner did: Another common mistake is focusing too much on what your partner did to cause the dissolution of your union. It's very likely that your partner, at least in part, is to blame for what happened, but so are you. Merely focusing on your partner's shortcomings will leave them defensive and minimize — if not altogether erase — any chance you have at getting back together.
  • Not taking any accountability: Perhaps the biggest error people commit when trying to reconcile involves not accepting the role they played in the fights, the spats, and the eventual ending of things. No matter how you view yourself, there is little — if any — chance that you were completely perfect in your relationship. Not owning up to your mistakes is — in itself — a giant mistake.

How to Make Your Ex Want You Back: The Steps to Take

On the other side of the coin are the steps that you should take when trying to learn how to make your ex want you back. This includes the following three vital parts:

  • Meeting their needs: If you're the one who wants to reconcile, then you're the one who must put the other person's needs ahead of your own. This means that if they tell you that they need to be alone, you let them alone. If they tell you they need you to stop being this way and start being that way, you willingly change. Whatever it is they need, you should do whatever you can to make sure they get it. Within reason, of course: if they need a seven bedroom, twelve bathroom house in order to even consider getting back with you, they might be fishing in the wrong lake.
  • Changing your ways: Your relationship failed for a reason: If you simply get back together without addressing those reasons, you will find the exact same result. Thus, you need to change. There are probably things that your partner needs to change as well, but you can only concentrate on you. So, figure out what role you played in your relationship's failure, then figure out how to erase that role for good.
  • Making sure you're reuniting for the right reasons: Some people get back together for the right reasons and some do it for the complete wrong ones. Getting back together because you love one another, are willing to work on things, are willing to change, and believe a second time can indeed work are reasons that are right. Getting back together because you don't want to be alone or feel that you're invested in each other because of past time spent together aren’t good enough reasons to kiss and make up. You have to be sure your reasons are solid: if they aren't, your relationship won't be either.

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