Sometimes people only love you for what's in your bank account.
One step into the Playboy Mansion (RIP) would be enough to leave most of us scratching our heads. How does a man who was born when Calvin Coolidge was president and Babe Ruth was in his prime still manage to get all the babes?
Do women date (and marry) Hugh Hefner for his fame? For his personality? For the fact that he's amazing in bed (I swear I don't know if he is or isn't — I'm merely posing a question)? Or do they date him for his money?
I don't have the answer. I don't know him or the women he's courted. But the concept of dating someone for their money isn't a concept that's limited to the famous. Even everyday people must be cautious of those who are after their wallets instead of their hearts.
But how does one really tell if a person loves them for who they are or loves them for what they can give (cars, clothes, exotic vacations)?
Unfortunately, the signs you're dating a gold digger might not always be obvious. Gold diggers don't divulge their ulterior motives. They don't wear name tags. They tend to have charm and the art of telling you what you want to hear down to a science. Still, they're not impossible to expose. Here's how to know for sure that you're dating a gold digger.
1. You have the means.
If you aren't wealthy, then you can probably rest assured that no one is using you for money. Even if you're so rich that you can jump into a vault full of cash, you probably aren't dating a gold digger if your wealth isn't something you advertise. But if people can tell that you have money the instant they meet you, consider your wealth well known. And following suit, consider yourself a target.
2. You end up paying for everything.
This, of course, isn't to say that the woman who lets a man take her to a wildly expensive dinner is out for his money. But if someone starts to assume you'll pay for things that don't even involve you — their mortgage, their phone bill, what they owe their gynecologist — be wary.
3. Their taste gets increasingly more expensive.
If they shopped at Target when you met them but now refer to it as "a market for peasants," be suspicious. Unless they won the lottery, received an inheritance, invented a new social media site or earned a promotion that involved a substantial sum of money, their sudden jump from Jaclyn Smith to Kate Spade likely has to do with knowing that they've landed a whale.
4. They’re unemployed, and not looking.
Dating a person who's unemployed, especially if they quit their job after your courtship begins, is a major red flag. But this doesn't mean you need to immediately break up. Did they quit their job because they want something more challenging? Because they hated their boss? Because they wanted better pay?
That's all normal. But if they quit their job because they feel as though they no longer need to work, there’s a good chance they assume being your partner comes with a salary.
5. They ask you for money.
Perhaps the easiest way to determine if someone is using you for your paycheck is also the simplest: they ask you for money. Again, people with good intentions may ask for money from time to time. Their car needs to get fixed, they have to pay a medical bill or they really want to start a business with their best friend from high school.
But asking for money for no valid reason (or repeatedly asking) is a solid sign that your relationship isn't based on TLC — it's based on ATM.