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Think He's Cheating? Here's What To Do

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Lipstick on his collar?
Lipstick on his collar?
Six steps to follow when you suspect he's up to no good.

If you are asking yourself, "Is he cheating?" you probably sense something is off in your relationship. Too often women doubt themselves in favor of accepting a cheater's lies. But "Is he cheating?" is a brave question to ask. It means you trust your own instincts instead of the lies he's offering.

Facing the reality of your relationship can be difficult. However, it also can help you see your relationship more clearly. The following six steps can help you grow emotionally, whether or not he is actually cheating on you:

More from YourTango: 5 Things 'Awkward' Teaches About Cheaters & Why They Blame You

1. Identify your feelings. You are the expert on yourself. If you're so busy that you are unaware of your feelings, you are missing out on a precious gift. You are unique and have inherent worth just for being you. You deserve to be cherished and treated respectfully physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Start by identifying what you are feeling. Usually, anger is the tip of the iceberg. There are deeper feelings which fuel it. Try to identify those feelings. Journaling is a great tool to help you vent your feelings and identify those deeper feelings. Sometimes drawing a picture of the feeling can help you to express the feeling in a way words cannot capture.

2. Talk to your partner about your concerns and feelings. Once you have identified the deeper feelings, talk to your partner about how his behavior affects you. Your anger is justified but your man will not hear anything you say out of anger or in an angry tone of voice. Speak about your deeper feelings in a tone he can hear. You will feel better about yourself if you communicate in a respectful way. Do this for yourself, not for him. Think about how you can stand up for yourself, address his behavior and maintain your self-esteem in the process.

More from YourTango: Taking Back Your Sexuality After Trauma Or Abuse

3. Watch his reaction and body languageIf your man is cheating, he may respond by denying it, blaming you or he may respond angrily. Look for the following behaviors: Is he posturing over you (for power and control) or looking at the floor (out of shame and deceit) or is he humble and sorry for his behavior? Keep reading ...

More on cheating from YourTango:

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Teresa Maples

Counselor/Therapist

Teresa Maples MS, LMHC, CSAT, CMAT

If you are a woman who has been betrayed and want to heal and thrive  I want to invite you to my Free Webinar.

My passion is to encourage, nurture,and validate people, deepening their most important relationships to Live Life Abundantly!

Reserve my seat now for the amazing webinar, "Surviving to Thriving" Help for women after discovering your partner has cheated.

 

Location: Gig Harbor, WA
Credentials: CMAT, CSAT, LMHC
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Sex Addiction
Other Articles/News by Teresa Maples:

5 Things 'Awkward' Teaches About Cheaters & Why They Blame You

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On the successful MTV show Awkward, Jenna and Matty were the perfect couple — until Jenna messed it up by cheating and not taking responsibility for her actions.  The show is so compelling that I watched all three seasons in one week. It helps that I am a serious student of human nature and found the characters similar to what you ... Read more

Taking Back Your Sexuality After Trauma Or Abuse

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If you suffered from childhood sexual abuse you probably land in one of two camps; those who have nightmares and avoid sexual experiences out of fear, and those that repeat the pattern of sexual trauma, justifying it in the name of freedom. Both behaviors are problematic and can deprive you of a fulfilling life. Even though you were abused as a child, it ... Read more

Radio Show: Healing After Betrayal

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Carol the Coach interviewed Teresa Maples on March 3, 2014 on the topic of Partners of Cheaters. If you are interested click here and you can listen to the interview in its entirety. Teresa talked about her upcoming webinar and how she can help women who want healing after being betrayed by their partners. Many partners feel like they are going crazy and ... Read more

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