Think He's Cheating? Here's What To Do

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Lipstick on his collar?
Six steps to follow when you suspect he's up to no good.

If you are asking yourself, "Is he cheating?" you probably sense something is off in your relationship. Too often women doubt themselves in favor of accepting a cheater's lies. But "Is he cheating?" is a brave question to ask. It means you trust your own instincts instead of the lies he's offering.

Facing the reality of your relationship can be difficult. However, it also can help you see your relationship more clearly. The following six steps can help you grow emotionally, whether or not he is actually cheating on you:

1. Identify your feelings. You are the expert on yourself. If you're so busy that you are unaware of your feelings, you are missing out on a precious gift. You are unique and have inherent worth just for being you. You deserve to be cherished and treated respectfully physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Start by identifying what you are feeling. Usually, anger is the tip of the iceberg. There are deeper feelings which fuel it. Try to identify those feelings. Journaling is a great tool to help you vent your feelings and identify those deeper feelings. Sometimes drawing a picture of the feeling can help you to express the feeling in a way words cannot capture.

2. Talk to your partner about your concerns and feelings. Once you have identified the deeper feelings, talk to your partner about how his behavior affects you. Your anger is justified but your man will not hear anything you say out of anger or in an angry tone of voice. Speak about your deeper feelings in a tone he can hear. You will feel better about yourself if you communicate in a respectful way. Do this for yourself, not for him. Think about how you can stand up for yourself, address his behavior and maintain your self-esteem in the process.

3. Watch his reaction and body languageIf your man is cheating, he may respond by denying it, blaming you or he may respond angrily. Look for the following behaviors: Is he posturing over you (for power and control) or looking at the floor (out of shame and deceit) or is he humble and sorry for his behavior? Keep reading ...

More on cheating from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Teresa Maples

Counselor/Therapist

Teresa Maples MS, LMHC, CSAT, CMAT

If you have wondered about your relationship and yearned for something more intimate and fulfilling, sign up for my newsletter. You will get relationship advice which will help you move you closer to your ideal.

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Location: Gig Harbor, WA
Credentials: CMAT, CSAT, LMHC
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Sex Addiction
Other Articles/News by Teresa Maples:

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