3 Tools To Rekindle Romance In Your Relationship


3 Tools To Rekindle Romance In Your Relationship [EXPERT]
Use these three exercises to ignite the flame in your relationship!

A recent study was reported in US News that links improved mental health with couples therapy. The study was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association. "What our study shows is that allowing your loved ones to be a part of your mental health treatment, if you're in a supportive relationship, can be very important to treatment," said author Candice Monson, a professor of psychology and director of clinical training at Ryerson University.

By getting help from a professional counselor, couples can reignite that spark from early in their relationship. The spark commonly is identified as "romantic love." That feeling of "romantic love" is actually a result of your brain making a cocktail of chemicals which are very similar to addiction chemicals, a reward system. If couples harness their romantic feelings, they could choose to give each other a "fix," to mutually feel good together. 5 Love Lessons From Olympic Athletes


Daily Rekindling of Love, a recent blog article by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, lists three practical ways to rekindle sparks as a couple. Here is a bit of background on Stan. He is the creator of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy. This approach to couples therapy incorporates the latest research on brain biology, adult attachment styles and couples therapy. Here are three practical ways to rekindle the spark in your relationship.

1. The lovers gaze. Biologically, when we gaze lovingly into each other's eyes we mutually amplify or "get high" off of our internal brain chemicals, specifically dopamine. Dopamine is also the same chemical that is part of the reward center of the brain involved in addiction. We have all heard the phrase, "the eyes are the window to the soul." Now there is proof, biologically.

For example, if I lovingly gaze into my husband's eyes and he gazes lovingly back, both of our brians set off a series of chemical reactions that results in both of us feeling good. If you remember the early stages of your couplehood, did you gaze at each other more often than you do now? My guess is that you did. If you are like my husband and I, both of you got busy with life and forgot to gaze lovingly at each other. But, you can rekindle desire and well-being together by looking each other in the eyes and exchanging fondness and love. A romance "hit" for both of you. 6 Ways To Feel Secure As A Couple [EXPERT]

2. Joint attention with a third object. Realistically, we can't just gaze at our partner indefinitely. So, another way we can choose to engage our attention is in a third object or person. The important part of this tool is to jointly gaze at the third together, interacting with your partner. It involves participation and doing something together.

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Article contributed by

Teresa Maples


Teresa Maples MS, LMHC, CSAT, CMAT

Wanting something more from your relationship?, Join my newsletter. and you will recieve free practical relationship tools helping you develop a closer more connected relationship.


Location: Tacoma, WA
Credentials: CMAT, CSAT, LMHC
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Sex Addiction
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