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3 Tools To Rekindle Romance In Your Relationship

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3 Tools To Rekindle Romance In Your Relationship [EXPERT]
Is your relationship missing that spark you once had?
Use these three exercises to ignite the flame in your relationship!

A recent study was reported in US News that links improved mental health with couples therapy. The study was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association. "What our study shows is that allowing your loved ones to be a part of your mental health treatment, if you're in a supportive relationship, can be very important to treatment," said author Candice Monson, a professor of psychology and director of clinical training at Ryerson University.

By getting help from a professional counselor, couples can reignite that spark from early in their relationship. The spark commonly is identified as "romantic love." That feeling of "romantic love" is actually a result of your brain making a cocktail of chemicals which are very similar to addiction chemicals, a reward system. If couples harness their romantic feelings, they could choose to give each other a "fix," to mutually feel good together. 5 Love Lessons From Olympic Athletes

More from YourTango: 5 Things 'Awkward' Teaches About Cheaters & Why They Blame You

Daily Rekindling of Love, a recent blog article by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, lists three practical ways to rekindle sparks as a couple. Here is a bit of background on Stan. He is the creator of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy. This approach to couples therapy incorporates the latest research on brain biology, adult attachment styles and couples therapy. Here are three practical ways to rekindle the spark in your relationship.

1. The lovers gaze. Biologically, when we gaze lovingly into each other's eyes we mutually amplify or "get high" off of our internal brain chemicals, specifically dopamine. Dopamine is also the same chemical that is part of the reward center of the brain involved in addiction. We have all heard the phrase, "the eyes are the window to the soul." Now there is proof, biologically.

For example, if I lovingly gaze into my husband's eyes and he gazes lovingly back, both of our brians set off a series of chemical reactions that results in both of us feeling good. If you remember the early stages of your couplehood, did you gaze at each other more often than you do now? My guess is that you did. If you are like my husband and I, both of you got busy with life and forgot to gaze lovingly at each other. But, you can rekindle desire and well-being together by looking each other in the eyes and exchanging fondness and love. A romance "hit" for both of you. 6 Ways To Feel Secure As A Couple [EXPERT]

More from YourTango: Taking Back Your Sexuality After Trauma Or Abuse

2. Joint attention with a third object. Realistically, we can't just gaze at our partner indefinitely. So, another way we can choose to engage our attention is in a third object or person. The important part of this tool is to jointly gaze at the third together, interacting with your partner. It involves participation and doing something together.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Teresa Maples

Counselor/Therapist

Teresa Maples MS, LMHC, CSAT, CMAT

If you are a woman who has been betrayed and want to heal and thrive  I want to invite you to my Free Webinar.

My passion is to encourage, nurture,and validate people, deepening their most important relationships to Live Life Abundantly!

Reserve my seat now for the amazing webinar, "Surviving to Thriving" Help for women after discovering your partner has cheated.

 

Location: Gig Harbor, WA
Credentials: CMAT, CSAT, LMHC
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Sex Addiction
Other Articles/News by Teresa Maples:

5 Things 'Awkward' Teaches About Cheaters & Why They Blame You

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On the successful MTV show Awkward, Jenna and Matty were the perfect couple — until Jenna messed it up by cheating and not taking responsibility for her actions.  The show is so compelling that I watched all three seasons in one week. It helps that I am a serious student of human nature and found the characters similar to what you ... Read more

Taking Back Your Sexuality After Trauma Or Abuse

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If you suffered from childhood sexual abuse you probably land in one of two camps; those who have nightmares and avoid sexual experiences out of fear, and those that repeat the pattern of sexual trauma, justifying it in the name of freedom. Both behaviors are problematic and can deprive you of a fulfilling life. Even though you were abused as a child, it ... Read more

Radio Show: Healing After Betrayal

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Carol the Coach interviewed Teresa Maples on March 3, 2014 on the topic of Partners of Cheaters. If you are interested click here and you can listen to the interview in its entirety. Teresa talked about her upcoming webinar and how she can help women who want healing after being betrayed by their partners. Many partners feel like they are going crazy and ... Read more

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